Monday, April 21, 2008

The nurse should not be the one who puts salt in your wounds

Monday, April 21, 2008
Nothing like guilt and fear to get you going. Common Law's pneumonia and partially collapsed lung (partially collapsed? Make a fucking decision lung...) have given me a new focus. I'm back to being a little go-getter whiz kid, flying about the house, wiping arses, folding clothes, preparing lunches, dinners and snacks for all. I should point out that massively multi-tasked up as I am, I have been putting space and soap between the arse wiping and the food preparation.

Really, I'm not doing all that much more than I normally do but those little extra bits and pieces, the carting of duvets, laptops and twin towers of dvds from bed to couch, couch to bed and back again has made me ditch the less important stuff like browsing bullshit blogs and sitting staring into space wondering if the time has come for me to resume my career as a super power free super hero.

I love this reasonably purposeless purpose that I now have. I love it so much that if I could be sure that the National Theatre would continue paying Common Law to recline on her ass indefinitely then I would be equally happy to gently poison her breakfast of poached egg and McCambridge's toast. All the extra meal preparing is something of a pain in the boobies, you see, so if the illness could involve a little less eating then I'd be made up. I don't want her nastily nauseous or anything, just, you know, not hungry.

So a retention of my sense of purpose through an idle and appetite free Common Law. Plus a simple super power or two. That's all I ask.

11 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Manuel said...

awh you're making my bitching about rude people look rather trite.....please refrain from making me feel bad........

joke

obviously.

K8 the Gr8 said...

Dude, you're starting to sound like all those aul' ones who seem to be looking for medals just because they washed 400 nappies per day in pure bleach every day of the goddamn week for 90 years.

God won't smite you if you stay in bed for an extra half-hour or so.

Twenty Major said...

You should just get CL some of those freeze dried astronaut meals from NASA and a kettle.

If you can't find freeze dried astronaut meals Pot Noodles will do.

Conan Drumm said...

Rig up something like those automatic feed and water bottle thingys that attach to hamster cages. Nick a couple of drip stands from the hospital to hang the feeders from. Sorted?

Anonymous said...

Selfish prick.

Common Law said...

I am also willing to live off gorgonzola, pate and krisprolls which involves no cooking at all. Crisps of any flavour are good too See I'm a solutions guy, all you gotta do is ask.
Anonymous - Who is this masked avenger who calls people names?

Conan Drumm said...

She liveth!!

Ellie said...

CL - I thoroughly recommend baguettes and hummus as a non cooking meal.
(I was unsure of the spelling of Hummus so googled it, apparently there are several options: hamos, houmous, hommos, hommus, hummos, hummous or humus - you learn something new and useless everyday)

savannah said...

hurrah for CL...good stuff you are, sugar!

as for gimme, you're a star, sugar, ;-) on your side of the pond!

Rosie said...

which superpowers, specifically?

i'd choose hindsight and teleportation, myself.

Medbh said...

I'd go for food delivery myself. Then you can tranfer it out of the cartons onto plates and pretend like you made it yourself.

 
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