Monday, May 26, 2008

I eat antipasto twice

Monday, May 26, 2008
So we all watching the Giro? Not the social welfare cheques, chavs, I'm talking about the first of the Grand Tours currently lead by the new greatest cyclist in the world, Alberto Contador. Despite breaking his arm in the first week, Alberto took the overall lead after a steady performance in a gruelling mountain stage yesterday and I expect him to consolidate that lead in today's insanely uphill time trial.

Bored yet? You'd rather I discussed Buggerby? Someone won some shit over the weekend, right? Congratulations to Bock and all his weeping grown men mates.

Here's the thing about Contador though. His Astana team have been banned from participation in Le Tour. Why? Why the fuck? Because a completely different team who happen to share a name with Contador's, made up of different riders and a different manager, happened to get a few guys busted during last year's Tour. And so the defending champion, comparatively unblemished by doping doubts is being prevented from taking part. What a load of cockcheese. It's all so fucking arbitary. They're all up to their eyes in various illegal enhancements but the majority have chemists who are staying ahead of the drug regulators. Banning a team who lack any convicted riders merely on the grounds of their name makes even less sense than the rest of the deeply flawed anti-doping systems. Stupid pack of fucks.

So the Giro has a lot of meaning this year. Want to know how to watch it live? You need two computers. One for live streaming video from Rai and the other for the tastefully thick tones of Sean Kelly on the Eurosport audio feed. Why can't I use one laptop? Because they both insist on launching in Windows Media Player and I'm too stupid and lazy to figure out how to change this. I'm going to assume that you are too.

There is much agonizing, inspiring pain to be taken in during this closing week. How I love to watch them hurt and then aspire to come nowhere near those levels of suffering as I pedal single-geared and fixed into the biting cunt of a wind that is blowing today along the coast road.

Happy viewing all. Go Conty.


Inbelievably I cannot find a video clip of 'Angelina' on YouTube. Stupid and lazy again, I suspect.

8 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Twenty Major said...

They should just allow all drugs in cycling, athletics and such.

I long to see the hundred metres run in 7 seconds.

I want to see someone blem up Alpe d'Huez like they're peddling up the hill at Christchurch.

They know the risks, they can face the side effects, we get to enjoy super sports.

gimme a minute said...

Twenty:
Spot on.

Those East German ladies who spend entire documentaries bitching about having testicles and being unhappy, they piss me right off, so they do. You won Olympic Gold, for fuck's sake. Get over yourself.

I would happily develop breasts if it meant that kind of dubious immortality. Providing they were fulsome and pert, of course.

Sniffle&Cry said...

The pain and drugs, which part appeals?

Twenty Major said...

Providing they were fulsome and pert, of course.

Naturally. Having saggy Ulrikas just wouldn't be cricket.

Conan Drumm said...

And if they're allowed drugs then why not allow them engines as well? One of those ultralite super dooper alloy jobs with a couple of rockets fixed to the back fork would be fun to watch.

gimme a minute said...

Twenty:
Or even golf.

Conan:
Are you being snarcastic?

Because that is the downside for sure. If it only takes five minutes to get up the Mont Ventoux then it may all get a little tiresome.

Medbh said...

It's still hockey season here so I've yet to hear about Le Tour except for flashes of it in the bike porn.

stipes said...

its on eurosport (LIVE) for the past 2 weeks

 
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