We gave up on the Irish Toss. Threw in the paper towel. Until recently we had Geraldine's Rag delivered to our door every morning in time for a quick breakfast scan. But in a spate of credit crisis inspired financial panic we discarded this luxury. When I informed the paper delivery guy of our decision he looked at me as if he was going to continue coming around at six every morning, not to deliver but to scream abuse at us for taking away his livelihood. 'Consume motherfuckers!' he looked like he was planning to shout, 'Consume!' So I set him on fire. he went up like a paper boy.
So now I have no fucking clue what's happening on the planet. I could read the internet I suppose, but I do enough of that already and there is little chance of breakingnews.ie competing with Dear Lover or Conor's 'beard'.
Keeping me afloat in my knowledge of world affairs boat is a semi-regular perusal of the odd current affairs blog and I have noticed a huge ignoring of what seem to me to be major stories. Wasn't there a hurricane or some shit somewhere in the last few days? Why is every fucker ignoring this? I gotta quote Mr le Sac here: 'Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.' Or not, presuming you are a bogged down by boring bollox blogger. Thou shalt dismiss this shit as being unworthy of your analysis.
I kind of get this though. It's in some far away country, they're all darkies of one kind or another and let's face it, that whole tsunami thing a while back kind peaked us out as far as concern for the naturally doomed disaster sufferers.
But how about Georgia? No, not the state you ridiculously insular, Yanks. This I don't fucking get. White people, if not English speaking. Little country, in dispute with even smaller country. Little country supported by big power, even littler country supported by other big power. Military build-up on the boarders. Fucking Franz Ferdinand anyone? And yet nobody seems interested. I may be misreading this completely. I most likely am. But the responsibility for my ignorance lies squarely on the shoulders of the current affairs cunts who are spectacularly failing to produce prejudiced, reactionary, fascistic analysis.
Sort it out people, don't make me grasp for Google News, and for the love of Michael, please don't force me to support the new flame-proof paperboy,
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