Friday, May 23, 2008

You would cry too if it happened to you

Friday, May 23, 2008
'Good morning, Data'.


'It's time to get up, sweetie.'

'I sleepy.'

'Well, it's time to get up.'

'Bud I sleeeeepy.'

'It's still time to get up.'

And you're three years old, for fuck's sake, you should be leaping out of bed filled with enthusiasm for another wonderful day of learning and freshness and freedom from responsibility.

'Bud I sleeeeeeeeepy.'

Seriously second-born, you're not sixteen and encased in apathy. You're not suddenly, shockingly, yet another year older and lost in a sea of confusion and fear. You're not, whisper it, 34.

'What day is it today, Data?'


'What day is today?'


'Yes. But what else is it?'


'Yes. But what other kind of day is it?'

'I got you pwesents. I got you a duck.'

'You're not really supposed to tell me what you got me.'

'Mommy got you books. Not a Dora books.'

'Again, you're not really supposed to tell me.'

'I got you a duck.'

'It's time to get up.'

I suspect that if I had any other life than this then this is the life that I would envy. Deeply un-Gimme though it may be, I believe that today I may even have myself a happy birthday.

Today's Title

29 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Twenty Major said...

Have a good one, you ancient cunt.

gimme a minute said...


I'm counting on 39 tracks of Real Love to get me through the day.

fatmammycat said...

Top of the morning to you! And happy birthday to you, you smooth skinned young- un.

Twenty Major said...

It's just a shame you don't have any Paddy Casey to make the day complete.

Dave said...

Happy Birthday, Mr Minute. Show us the duck.

Rosie said...

a duck? a real duck? (because that would be the best birthday present ever)

if I had any other life than this then this is the life that I would envy.

you're a lucky fucker, Gimme, for all your grouching. and you don't look a day over 27.

sheepworrier said...

Happy b'day gimme.

Thriftcriminal said...

You have a sleepy 3 year old too? HB youngerer person.

limerickgal said...

Happy Birthday!

Sniffle&Cry said...

That one year older then JC before he was eventually crucified. Any parallels there.

Happy Birthday Stranded on Gaia. Many more of them. The fucking blog is like a fucking good whine, which I'm reliably told gets sweeter in time.

Ellie said...

Happy birthday old man

savannah said...

happy birthday, sugar! xoxo

Medbh said...

Happy Birthday, Blondie!

Twenty Major said...

Blondie, heh

V said...

Let me then be the last to say 'Happy Birthday'

Gav said...

In which case, Breithla shona dhuit! And it was you promoting the 'tarf right?

Annie Rhiannon said...

you look younger

Problemchildbride said...

Happy birthday, Gimme. Enjoy the day.

antimatter said...

Have a good one dude.
Bummer about Paula isn't it?

stipes said...

have a nice whine with your birthday dinner, and go easy on the drink. have a good one

gimme a minute said...

The shaving thing is already really old. Just like me.

He played live at my birthday dinner. Then I burned the cunt alive with the candles.

Show us your bike and I'll show you the duck.

It might be a little too Joey and Chandler though, no?

Cheers, dude.

Sleepy and grumpy. She's working towards the full seven.

Thank you, faithful reader.

Yeah, have to watch that getting sweeter.

I'll never be thirty again.

Thank you and thank you for my card too.

Ha! Thanks.

I can't believe you were denying my birthday.

I'm not sure. I hope not.

You should see the picture in my attic.

Thank you, Sam, I am. Ha! Sam, I am!

I'm very much in denial. She can run on a broken leg! Sure she can!

Bit late now.

Kim Ayres said...

Turned up with 10 minutes to go - Hope you had a great day :)

Problemchildbride said...

Thank you, Sam, I am. Ha! Sam, I am!

Hmm. I see. Look, I'm laughing at that but only cos it's your birthday, see?

Sounds like a good time had, Gimme. Many happy returns of them, hun.

problemchildbride said...

My brother's a nurse and he says a pint of orange juice and a banana's your only man for the breakfast after. Potassium or some such.

Manuel said...

"Fwiday" nearly made me cry.........awh have a great one n all that.....

gimme a minute said...

Thank you, sir. The last ten minutes were the best.

Have a banana in my porridge every morning already. Still feel 44.

Cheers, dude.

Caro said...

Happy belated birthday.

Data's got her priorities straight at a very early age. You must be so proud.

gimme a minute said...

Proud as a Mike Tyson jab.

John Mc said...

Belated felicitations - young fella! I'm fucking 40 this Fwiday.

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