I got two little links for you here, both to do with my favourite people in the whole wide world, those peace-lovin', Jesus-blowin' evangelicals.
The first is from The Seattle Times. I once had a stopover at Seattle Airport on my way to visit the Away Team. However much I craned my head as I leant over the kindly Indian gentleman in the window seat, I was unable to catch even a single glimpse of either Kurt Cobain or Eddie Vedder. This was disappointing, to me.
The gist of this article that you are unlikely to open, let alone read, is as follows: Younger right-wing crazies, despite growing ever crazier than their older brothers in delusion, are still considering voting for Obama. Big swinging mickeys, right? And less convincing than even the most Ray Bolgery of straw polls.
What I truly adore though, is the closing line of the article, a quote from Tyler Braun (the first rule of God Club is you must constantly talk about God Club) a 23 year old seminary student from Portland:
'I just keep thinking, if Jesus were alive now, he wouldn't necessarily be voting Republican.'
You think, Tyler? But hang on, wasn't Jesus a warmongering fuck bag who took from the poor to give to the rich? He said 'Cluster bomb the shit out of your neighbour' didn't he? Wasn't that one of his big lines? Seriously dude, if you think Jesus voted for Bush, you gotta be considering the possibility that he's unlikely to be drawing the line at John McOvenChips.
'Necessarily'. Comedy genius. You're wasted in a seminary, Tyler baby, you should take that gold on the road.
Next, the all new 'You've been left behind' website. For a subscription of just $40 a year, this service gives the opportunity to the 'saved' to send pre-written emails to their 'unsaved' friends and family who insist on not spitting on homosexuals and beating up women who want a modicum of control over their own bodies. If the website's employees, who are apparently scattered across the globe, fail to log in for six days in a row then these admonishing mails are automatically delivered to the damned.
So it would appear that despite omnipotence, omniscience and omnibusicality, the Great Bearded Overlord does not have broadband in his gaff. And frankly, this makes me want to be left behind, left the fuck behind, to internet access having hell fire.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Saturday, June 14, 2008