Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Tu dis oui, je dis non

Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I'm all Topolled to fuck on this Lesbian Treaty shit, folks. On the one hand, on the other hand, on the other hand, on the other hand.

All the crazy cunts want us to vote No. Fucking Cóir. Fucking Shinners. Various extreme nutbags from both right and left.

A wizened hag from Cóir called to my door last week. 'Cor blimey!' I quipped. She was unamused. I thought I best get serious. I told her that I was undecided and asked her why I should vote No. Because Europe are going to make us legalize drugs and abortion, she told me.

'That sounds great. But why should I vote No?'

She wordlessly turned and moved on to the next door neighbour Krauts. Way to fucking argue your case, dude.

Thing is, Europe aren't really going to give me free terminations and it seems senseless to vote one way because a bunch of fruit loops are going the other. And it's not that the political establishment who are telling me to vote Yes aren't cunts. They are. Complete cunts, almost all. (Though not Garret Fitzgerald, I like him because he looks and sounds like my Grandad who was not a cunt). I cannot help but distrust the insular, corrupt and grab all you can as quickly as you can mindset of the Irish political class.

So on the one hand, on the other hand. I should be voting on the facts. But I don't understand the facts. All I know is that I'm pro-Europe. I'd rather be ruled by an army of faceless Belgian bureaucrats that Brian Cowen, Willie O'Dea or even Eamon Gilmore. I'm into the whole United Europe dream. Belgian chocolates are scrummy. So let's get together, nuke up, and head straight for Boston to show those Migrant Micks just who be the boss of this little ol' planet. I hate being Irish, it embarrasses the shit out of me and being European is at least better than being a Yank.

My thoughts are fuzzy, yes, and evidently ill-expressed, but at this point I'm almost certain that I'm going with a 'Yes'. I'd like to hold out on the legal drugs fantasy and as evidenced by my support of Italy in Euro 2008, I do enjoy being on the losing side.

There is no other hand.


Today's Title

15 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

Yup, clear as plasticine, isn't it? I've just had a go at why I'm voting no. I think the yes vote will win it, then watch out for Sar-not-so-kozy from July 1st. That's when the right wing ideologues can get stuck into the interpretive loopholes created by the Treaty.

niceonetom said...

"I'd rather be ruled by an army of faceless Belgian bureaucrats that Brian Cowen..."

that about sums it up for me too, gimme.

fatmammycat said...

'That sounds great. But why should I vote No?'

He- and indeed -heh.

Medbh said...

"Lesbian treaty" cracked me up.

gimme a minute said...

Conan:
I read. I changed my mind again. I don't fucking know, obviously.

But I do believe, without any real evidence, that Europe as an entity is less of a right-wing fuck up than our own government. Proinsias was touting the Treaty's socialist credentials yesterday. Not that I trust that sell out fucker.

niceonetom:
How are they faceless anyway? Are they all like the guy in that terrifying episode of 'Sapphire and Steel' (I know they were all fucking terrifying) recently ripped off by Doctor Who?

Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Fatmammycat:
She didn't like that much. I expect a Pro-life death squad at the door within the week.

Medbh:
I am constantly trying to appeal to the twelve year old boy in you.

I knew he was there somewhere.

Manuel said...

it appealed to the twelve year old boy in me too.....actually it appealed to the 35 year old boy too.....we all had a laugh then watched south park

Sniffle&Cry said...

At least you tried Gimme. And that twelve year old boy, not my son you know, that same son who hates me ten times tonight and understands more then I do.

Vote for NO and vote for Maldini too, vote for the missing European jersey (starting to get annoying and repetitive), vote for Spain and Dykes who score more then three goals.

Oh fuck it, vote for Ronaldo, cause he looks better the Brian Cowen.

I’m voting a very NO.

Medbh said...

Hmm, I've been told that my physique resembles a 12 year-old boy's in the past so maybe it's true?

camsavwin said...

So with all of your self-loathing, where do we stand?

I vote 'Yes' = not that it matters.

Twenty Major said...

I'm voting NO because you're voting YES.

Can't read your take on it, Conan.

Conan Drumm said...

Gimme, I think Europe after ratification will be what the big boys want it to be. And the big boys are France, Germany, Italy, and to a lesser extent Britain.
The thinking in these countries is currently dominated by economics, not by the 'social contract' idealism of former times.
The newer member states to the East look to Ireland's growth and perceive that it was achieved on a low tax base and it's the route they want to follow.
Wealthy member states and private companies see the business/investment potential in these countries. But a low tax regime entails a diminution in social services and the privatisation of state services and utilities, as we know.
Proinsias (Frank Ross) hasn't a clue, he's been supping gravy train soup for a long time.

{Twenty, don't know why that should be)

Twenty Major said...

Got it, Conan.

redleeroy said...

ahh christ i am so confused. Ok if the Czech's win tonight I vote NO and if Portugal win, I vote YES. If its a draw, I spoil.

V said...

Ginmmie
How about we do it the old fashioned way? Either you vote `yes` or I take you out to the nearest turf bog and shoot you in the back of the head.

Conan,
mate, friend, no, the only way is up..

Twenty,
I´m voting yes because you are going to piss yourself in the kiosk and spoil your vote so I have to make up yours..

redleroy
3-1 that's another, thanks..

Bock the Robber said...

A letter in yesterdays IT summed it up for me:

The Yes side makes me want to vote No, and the No side makes me want to vote Yes.

 
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