Sunday, August 10, 2008

Poo post

Sunday, August 10, 2008
It been a while since I've written a shit post. Yes, I bet that you're begging to fucking differ on that baby. How about the last one, Gimme? How about the last 200, come to that?

Damn straight, I'm with you. But to clarify: as well as being shit, this post is about shit.

Data's been holding it in.

I did this too. I was most likely a little older, a little less hysterical, but on a dumped by my parents holiday with cousins in Rosscuntinglare (that's the Irish spelling), having been deeply ashamed of most bodily functions by my psychotic grandmother, I was unable to poop in the unlockable toilet of the holiday home. After about a week I weepingly crapped my little toddler speedos during a quiet beach moment. Pulled my Dunnes holiday shorts over the mess and walked the half mile home, stinkingly trailing behind my 400 cousins. My auntie caught me trying to empty the enormous turd into the toilet. Childhood memories fucking rock.

Data has a similar gig going on, though I would hope that with her it's down to lacking of familiarity with her defecating domain that has her all screwed up. I certainly don't recall tacitly informing her of the eternal link between bowel movements and burning in hell. However, the last time my second born went this long without a poo I got shot in the face with a turd torpedo. True fucking story.

I'm hoping it doesn't go that way this time.

7 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

stipes said...

happened me once many years ago. in hospital, confined to bed needed to use the bedpan. what an experience. so, methinks, never again. 10 days later when I was allowed out of bedI left an absolute masterpiece in the jacks. abstinance not recommended

Medbh said...

My younger sister used to crap in her crib and then paint the walls with it.

problemchildbride said...

God, that's a heartbreaking story, Gimme. Why in hell would adults set out make a little boy feel that ashamed about pooing? Your granny has a lot to answer for.

Wishing Data prunes, a speedy return to regularity and the all-singing, all-dancing poo version of "Please Release Me, Let Me Go."

Manuel said...

sounds like a

@medbh that used to be all the rage in the prisons up here too......

Medbh said...

Manuel: Hah!
Yes, Jennifer was doing a prison protest for the right to be a fucking nutter.

Sniffle&Cry said...

Bon voyage Gimme. Bet she responds better to la belle France then to bitter cold wet and miserable west Clare.

gimme a minute said...

Heavy, dude.

Never been faced with a bedpan. Not looking forward to it.

Anything good? Not a lot of colour to work with I suppose...

Her recovery was swift.

A laugh riot.


She had fun in Clare with the dolphins and the emu and the swimming. But yeah, kids like the sun...

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