Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Same ol' fuckin' story

Tuesday, October 7, 2008
They tried to make me sell last night. Sell some new energy drink with taurine and caffeine and many other kinds of tine. They should have known better.

Everyone got a free bottle of enhanced sugar water shoved up their drinks cage. I was charged with the explanation and up-talking of this fresh and fragrant product. I elected to not do this. Instead I embarked on a lengthy and peripatetic diatribe on the crappiness of nearly every energy drink on the market.

'Orange juice, water, pinch of salt,' I said. 'Double espresso before you hit the road. Jelly babies. These are your requirements.'

I got a few titters, and a little sage nodding. I decided to relent, slightly. 'This one might be great though, I haven't tried it.' I turned up the Cyndi and began my circle spiel. Don't fucking tell me what to do, wage masters.

Petty, small and sad rebellions are all I that have to offer in this losing war against the man.

Today's Title

12 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Twenty Major said...

Beautiful, like a rainbow...

problemchildbride said...

Super, like a hero...

Radge said...

I'd likely have tittered.

JC Skinner said...

Drink fifteen cans of the stuff a day, then die on the job leaving your butt-munching line manager down a staff member.
That'll show the man.
Or buy the firm out (shouldn't be too expensive in a credit crisis climate) and become the man.
Or cut your dick off and be the woman instead.
There are always options, dude. Don't feel trapped.

V said...

Try 'Gimme Brand' weight gain 2000 disguised as a slimming energy drink. Thus guaranteeing that you won't be out of work any time in the next 10 years. Beware of the 'Mr. Creasote' effect though and keep an extra towel handy just in case.

fatmammycat said...

Your true colours came shining through.

gimme a minute said...

Sometimes it's hard to take courage.

If you fall, I will catch you.

I ran out of Cyndi songs.

The first one is my favourite.

There is no 'the woman', JC. Don't you read Twisty?

This is an awesome plan. If people can flog t-shirts and badges in their sidebars, I bet I can shift some serious amounts of Gaia Juice.

If I had a dollar every time I cried...

I guess I had one more.

V said...

Yes, now I know where you got the idea for your new haircut..

I'm just letting you know I will be hospitalized this week due to the effects of repeated unavoidable viewings of the Sky HD ad while I am waiting for my 'TV OFF' from adbusters to arrive. I see it seems to have affected you also.

Medbh said...

What's wrong with you, Gimme?
If you give up your gender privilege then you have to hand your dick over. Them's the rules.
If you're not a predatory violent bastard you're not a real man.

gimme a minute said...

Can it, you fucking hippie.

I am silly, amn't I?

Conan Drumm said...

Just ask 'The Man' for commission, he'll understand because he is 'The Man'.

gimme a minute said...

When I sell out, and I surely will, it's going to have to be for more than 10c on a bottle of piss.

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