Saturday, October 25, 2008

I've got a madman of my own to contend with, cursing in the cave of my skull

Saturday, October 25, 2008
I know that you want cheerful, folks, or if not cheerful, then certainly not the all-out wrist-slittingly, weepingly sore pity-fest that I've been offering up for the last week or so. I want that too, honest. Honest Native American. But I don't have it. So I thought I'd fake it. I fake a lot of shit, I can fake this.

Me and V, we used to collect movies . We were old school pirates, back in the day, the day before any Tom, Dick or Harry could happily gad about, defrauding innocent multinationals while simultaneously shitting in a dead policeman's stolen helmet and then stealing the helmet from the grieving policeman's wife, Every fucker is a pirate now, a glammed up, humour and violence free, plotless Pirates of the Caribbean style pirate. The fucking internet again, ripping the joy from everything.

V and I, living happily as a married couple, discovered that we could combine our two video recorders and copy just about any movie we cared to rent from 'Reel World', our local arty-farty video shop. We were reasonably selective to begin with, copying mostly the classics, stealing mostly from the stellar, but spurred on by a drug-fuelled enthusiasm, the whole concept quickly got out of hand.

And so the index cards came to pass. Because we had to have index cards, didn't we? How else were we to fill the empty days of the no job 'jobbing' actor?

A regular feature is born, folks. In fact, I might just do this shit every day until I stop feeling worth as much as my stock market portfolio.

That's about as witty as the comments get, folks. Though you, no doubt, will be the judge of that over the coming days, months and years.

8 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

Ah, which of you was Withnail?

Farewell My Turpentine would be a good title for a Van Gogh biopic.

Medbh said...

Love that film.
Saw it the same week as "Raise the Red Lantern."
The latter is a feminist classic.

redleeroy said...

Reel world. I loved that place. The bastards.

cath said...

This'd make a brilliant screenplay.

gimme a minute said...

We combined the two, really. I had the hysteria going on, he had the fecklessness.

I'm pretty sure that's in there somewhere too.

Gregor was a post, if not a fucking novel, in his own right. You know why he shut down, right? Because he didn't 'believe' in dvds. Refused to switch.

Nutjob. Wonderful, wonderful nutjob.

Yu write it, I'll take my cut. Don't tell V, he'll want in.

V said...

Feckless? Who was doing the indexing?? Just cos you were working.

Well no change there then! A script about me and I would'nt even get a fucking audition. The bastards! You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it!

gimme a minute said...

I hear Vinny's been offered the part.

And indexing or not, there was at that time no one in the Greater Dublin area with less feck than you.

V said...

Well ok I concede, if you call swaning-about-with-a-massive-haircut-pretending-to-be-a-teenager a job, then I was as feckless as Frank Gallagher on a Sunday.

Vinny the ginny? Agggggh!

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