Monday, November 24, 2008

Emaweni webaba

Monday, November 24, 2008
There I was, hanging out by the bike sheds, innocently playing Virtual Pool on my new godPhone, when what should I overhear but news of the potential degradation of the dilithium crystals on this here Enterprise.

Maybe you haven't read everything that I've written. Poor fucking you. Here's the scoop: we live beside our Germanic landspeople. They own both houses and rent to us. Once we went to their gaff for dinner. The best that can be said about that evening is that it was a short walk home.

So to my overhearing, my dropping of these eaves. It was Lady Land who spoke, to some guy I don't know as he quit their house and said his goodbyes.

'I see that house is still up for sale.'

I know the one he means, four doors down, on the market since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth.

Lady keeps it simple.

'Yes, it is.'

And then Lady gets heavy, oh so very heavy.

'We're going to have to sell this one.'

You fucking what?

'Next door?'

'Yes, inaudible mortgage inaudible.'

I don't know what the fuck she meant by inaudible, but I do know that they plan to sell our house and unless that elderly spin chick who fancies me decides to express her love with a €600,000 bag of cash instead of a sparse diet of admiring glances then they will not be selling it to us. Which is an awful pity.

It's a great road, this road we live on. We're on the deep corner of an L-shaped cul de sac. It's safe and quiet. Plenty of kids with whom The Bridge Crew can consort. I like it as much as I've liked anywhere that I've had to stay put in for more than five minutes. My roaming chilhood left me restless and unfocussed, but this place I could see myself sticking with for a while.

It's not that massive a problem. A quick check on Daft reveals that plenty of people around and about are looking for a nice family to not murder chickens in their attics, and rents, thank recession, are way down. But the moving, even a short distance, is something I just do not want to contemplate. I'm going to stop contemplating it now.

Of course, this may not happen for a long time. No one's buying, right? The place down the road is evidence of that. But we're due to sign a new lease in the coming weeks and I suspect that there'll be some procrastination on that one from our loveable Prussian masters. Either way, I'm really looking forward to being that guy who attempts to freak out potential buyers with tales of eerie noises and putrid stenches. I can supply the latter myself.

12 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Radge said...

Pain in the hoop.

Still, you'll find somewhere good. All around me there are house up for let, and I'm trying not to take it personally.

red leeroy said...

The inaudible part was "Anschluss".

Sniffle&Cry said...

Main squeeze decides on annoying issues like where we live and schools and stuff. I concentrate on the premiership and the economy. If it’s not broken……

Total cock though, hope something agreeable works out. Sounds like a good place.

savannah said...

oh sugar! having just gone through a quick move, i so hope all y'all don't have to move anytime soon! xoxoxo

Medbh said...

That sucks big time, Gimme.
Are you going ask them about it?

Conan Drumm said...

Ach zo, it is der Deutcher volks who are bringing down der economichlichheit mit the speculation.

Offer to stay on with reduced rent in order to help them out with cash flow. In the meantime check out your rights under the newish landgrabber-tenant legislation. Methinks you could stay put for a looooong time, and also get on the council housing list while you're at it. Needs must when der teufel calls the tune.

gimme a minute said...

Don't. I'm sure it's nothing to do with you,

Where do you live again? Not that I'm going to avoid it, like.

Red Leeroy:
Excellent. I know no German, so I lack a comeback.


That worked nicely.

Yeah, I tried to swing that division of responsibilty for ages.

Words cannot express just how badly that worked out.

Well, apparently we are going to be signing a new lease, so it looks like it I just wasted a whole load of internet.

I did. Well, I didn't. I just asked about the lease.

They'll probably try and kick us out anyway. Watch out for the stench, Bismarck.

Good, if hopefully now somewhat redundant advice.

I'll certainly be checking out the rights thingy.

Common Law said...

The Anschluss; German for "link-up"), also known as the Anschluss Österreichs, was the 1938 annexation of Austria into Greater Germany by the Nazi regime.

Radge said...


gimme a minute said...

Common Law:
I know what 'anschluss' means. I failed Leaving Cert History, you know.


fatmammycat said...

Oh moving is the Devil's smegma, you have my twitchy anxiety.

gimme a minute said...

I'll know more when, on this occasion, I actually bother to read the lease.

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