Thursday, November 27, 2008

The pleasure, the privilege is mine

Thursday, November 27, 2008
The figurative car crash nature of my offerings continues unabated. Long may this figuratively last. I drove for about five minutes through the gloomy roads of Ranelagh last night having forgotten to engage my headlights. And just as the blame for my sister's recent clock falling on her head mishap may be laid untidily at my door due to my purchasing of said clock over ten years ago, so it was entirely her fault that I made this idiotic omission. I had stopped by her gaff to pick something up, you see. And when I pulled out I forgot about the lights. See? Her fault.

People kept flashing their lights at me. I happily toodled on down the road, thinking to myself: 'It's honk if you think I'm sexy, sillies!'

12 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Andrew said...

In such circumstances I just assume everyone is feeling really collectively friendly and plough along on my merry way until I mill into Larry, the simple guy who picks up every single penny that schoolkids throw onto the road for him. A sensitive soul, though surprisingly resilient.

Conan Drumm said...

So the lights were off but someone was at home, behind the wheel?

Medbh said...

Hee.
The first year I was driving I had the same problem, along with always leaving the fucking lights on after parking and waking up to a dead battery the next day.
Have you put lots of dents in it?

Conan Drumm said...

'It's honk if you think I'm sexy,' sillies! 'And flash if there's a laptop on the roof!'

Ellie said...

While the clock incident is undoubtedly your fault, I don't think I can accept the blame for this. I believe it was a rebellion against Hans Brinker and his habit of having lights on in broad daylight.

Sniffle&Cry said...

Only happens me when I'm drunk.

Gav said...

Yet another advantage of a luminescent purple vehicle is that lights are pretty much unnecessary.

Rosie said...

what's wrong with having the lights on in broad daylight? safety first, i say.

Gimme, you should probably wear that helmet in the car.

gimme a minute said...

Andrew:
Sensitive and non-resilient do not a happy couple make, I find.

Medbh:
Purple makes a noise if you open the door and the lights are still on. Otherwise your fate would totally be mine.

Two hefty scratches, no dents per se.

Conan:
I have a picture of myself on my deathbed, weeping Bridge Crew by my side, and you popping your head around the door to say: 'You left your laptop on the roof of your car!'

Ellie:
I do that. If I could just remember to turn them on at night, all will be well.

Not all, obviously, but you get the idea.

Sniffle:
But you're a better driver when you're drunk, right? So there's no problem.

Gav:
So very true. Maybe they were indeed telling me that I am sexy.

Rosie:
I'd quite like a pair of driving goggles, now that you don't really mention it.

Conan Drumm said...

No, I'll come in, sniffle a little and say, "The Laptop's ready on the roof of the hearse."

It'll bring the house down and for a very brief moment you won't be the centre of attention... Cyril Cusack was renowned for it.

red leeroy said...

some of those newfangled machines have one's that go on all on their own when its dark. Perhaps all that is needed is a new automobile?

gimme a minute said...

Conan:
He was always adjusting pictures, I've heard. But then he could adjust pictures better than most people can speak.

Redleeroy:
Looks like the richer you are the stupider you can be these days.

My stupidity and wealth have yet to find that happy equilibrium.

 
◄Design by Pocket