Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Well, I guess you must have known it would someday

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Another close call, another lucky break. I have the odd feeling that I am not sitting here writing and fretting, but am in fact draped crushed and broken over the mangled carcass of Purple Danger. An Occurrence at Leeson Park Corner, if you like. I don't have the super powers but am still happy to keep living this dream of typing and lunch-making right until the moment that the truth of my timely demise is revealed.

Or maybe I just got lucky. Again. I could have been going faster. Purple's brakes could have been even crappier and less responsive than they actually are. He could have pulled out that little bit later. Lucky, lucky, and thrice lucky, that's me.

But it has to run out, right? Or run free at least, untethered from my safety and emotional well-being. It has to happen. Law of fucking averages, innit?

And so, I suspect, a terrible doom awaits. An archaic terrible doom. You know what I mean by that, right? I don't have to explain this shit. You're not stupid. Nor ignorant. I should avoid projecting my own stupidity and ignorance onto other people. It pisses them off something rotten.

But what do I fucking care? Here, ignoramuses, is what I mean: Terrible, in the 'formidably great' sense. Doom, in the 'fate, not necessarily negative' sense. A terrible doom awaits, I say again. All these near misses, these bust-ups with the animate and inanimate, they're leading down the road to something big, and when it comes I just hope that I'll be fourth, fifth, sixth time lucky.

13 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

antimatter said...

Please don't push your luck. And don't joke about leaving your wife and kids.

gimme a minute said...

What the fuck are you talking about?

gimme a minute said...

Keep going back there, you'll find one eventually.

fatmammycat said...

I am glad you're okay. Lucky you were paying attention.

Gav said...

Statistically very few people die or are seriously injured in a purple car - I think you're safe enough.

gimme a minute said...

Yeah, that wasn't like me at all.

That's surprisingly comforting.

savannah said...

that was close! which is what we say around heah when something could have happened, but didn't, sugar! anyway, with regard to driving, you can go your entire motoring life and have a gazillion close calls, but never have an actual accident, so fuckit, don't even give it another thought!
live hard, drive fast! xoxox

the minister said...

It's really not luck though. If so, then the majority of us are lucky fucks and due up for something cataclysmic. It's a fairly small percentage of people who drive/bike/walk that are involved in crashes. This is a well-known statistical fact.

The truly lucky actually crash, are actually not able to stop. And if you believe in something like "luck", then you must accept it as it is--neutral. The results are what's good or bad, but the luck itself? it's the same whether you win the lottery or crash your car.

gimme a minute said...

We say that here too. I prefer to precede it with 'motherfucker' though.

the minister:
Ooh, well known statistical facts, is it?

I am much, much more likely to crash my car than win the lottery.

I should start doing the lottery.

Conan Drumm said...

Leeson Park Corner? By the Via Appia? Adjacent to the Lawn Tennis (G&Ts-after-work) Club? Or was it the Presbyterian/Methodist closer-to-God end?

You're in a small, Hi-Viz-coloured car and that always helps. You could glue an old laptop to the roof for that bit of extra, solicitous attention.

gimme a minute said...

Closer to God it was as I came closer to God.

No one is ever going to forget the laptop thing, are they?

Conan Drumm said...

That's a shite T junction, with a nasty yellow box that always has a merc or a white van, or both in it. And then there's the feckers haring it around in the opposite direction from Leeson street through the bus lane.

Laptop thing... what laptop thing?

antimatter said...

I was talking about death dude. There's a lot of it about in my circle. A friend of a friend has just been widowed with young kids and no income. Sorry if I mistook but you are coming over like someone with a death wish. Or at at least you enjoy flirting with it. I am assumed that it was a joke.
Now pray tell: go back where? Find what?

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