Tuesday, December 2, 2008

And I can tell you know how hard this life can be

Tuesday, December 2, 2008
It is a phalanx of faces that I face upon a nightly basis. Bunched up, scrunched up, punched up they almost all are as they hit that final climb, or hammer out that extra unflagged sprint.

Warning! You know that question thing that folks do at the end of their posts to try and elicit comments? I'm going to place that right here, in an untraditionally early on in the entry position:

What kind of face do YOU make when you exercise intensely?

I hate those fucking questions. Fuck off and mind your own business. If I want to comment, I'll fucking comment. Your as an afterthought, feigning of interest in my opinion is not going to have any effect on my commently affectations. You wanker.

So what kind of face do YOU make when you exercise intensely?

Let me clue the non-exercising porkers in here: it may well be the one you make as, bored, bedraggled and debased you crack out your fifth of the day in the cubicle of your office jacks. Or, you know, as you simultaneously hit the perfect orgasm jackpot with the one true love of your life who you've been going out with since yesterday and who is the only guy for you. One of those.

Or it may well not be. Me, I sneer. I'm pink of face, sure, and trembly of limb. But as well as I can remember the sardonic, bitter countenance that I saw in the studio mirror last night is completely unlike the one I glimpsed that one time during the ceiling mirror episode. Which is good because the latter weren't purdy.

As for the rest of the class, there's a wide range going on. Lots of money shot faces for sure, but a similar number of more subtle grimacing. Many a vomity visage too and plenty of profiles a pooping. The odd smile that gets broader as effort level increases. Yeah, those smilers were a little disconcerting at first but I got used to them. But then came Canadian Chick and her unique exercise aspect.

She's new but already regular, this North American lass, and she is of the smiling breed. But she's a gazer too, one of those people who just refuse to look at anything but the instructor for the duration of the class. And the smile, folks, is bemused. As the gradient rises and the tempo peaks out, it is more bemused that it becomes, until the point when her maximum is reached, she moves beyond her perceived physical limits and her whole being screams at me 'You silly, silly little man!'

Which is quite upsetting.

So what kind of face do YOU make when you exercise intensely?

16 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

fatmammycat said...

It depends, for running and weights I make generic pink-face with some celestial pleading.
But if it's kickboxing I make the, 'try it, just fucking try that reverse kick you stupid half-rotted corpse, think I don't know what you're planning you fucking bouncing half-wit? Think I can't read your fucking turtle like signals? It's not going to work cuntguts, I know what you know and the reason I'm smiling like this is because I'm WAY more fucking aggressive than you and if you do try that geriatric stenna chair lift fucking move I'm going to block it with my elbow, step in REAL close and smash your fucking chin in half, and then I'm going to fucking kill you, I'm going to stomp on your guts, I'm gonna rip open your head with my bare hands and piss down your spinal column, then I'm going to step on your throat and pull your spine out through your arse hole and use it to rope me a member of your family-which I will then kill right before your dying cloudy eyes, so COME ON!! Try it, just FUCKING TRY IT....'face.
I feel the same way when religious folk come to the door and ask me if I 'have a few minutes'.

Medbh said...

You can be such an ass, Gimme.

I try to maintain a serene mask at all times, especially when exercising. Making faces leads to wrinkles.

FMC: rock on.

gimme a minute said...


I've been waiting for permission to be ass for quite some time now.

Thanks for that.

fatmammycat said...

I should probably point out the rest of the time I'm a mild mannered sort who likes cats and ginger folk.
Medbh, I have seen your face, it is wrinkle and scowly line free.

gimme a minute said...

I know, I know! That's what makes the vividness of family member murder before the cloudy eyes of the despined cuntguts so alarming.

But, y'know, more power to your chin smashing fist.

red leeroy said...

phalanx - Gimme you bastard.

gimme a minute said...

Red Leeroy:
Mwah ha ha ha ha!

Twitter has its uses.

Conan Drumm said...


with growling.

gimme a minute said...

Is that an orgasmicon?

Andrew said...

Pretty much the 'vomity visage' you mentioned, plus the additional expression of a man who suspects he may very well shit himself at any second.

Conan Drumm said...

Not quite... the eyes would look like this


Twenty Major said...

Mine is the 'Oh God this is too much like hard work and I'm sure there are some shooting pains where there shouldn't be shooting pains so I'm gonna stop now' face.

gimme a minute said...

Sweet combination. But fear not, even Paula pauses to poop.

Well thank you for clearing that up.

Twenty Major:
You best give up the Major. Or perhaps just anything vaguely resembling exercise.

Annie A said...

My natural expression is a frown.

The Hangar Queen said...

I weep blood,swear tears and piss razor blades.All with a rictus sneer for the instructor.

One day soon I will eat his heart.

gimme a minute said...

You get a good calorie burn from frowning.

Hangar Queen:
You may now join Fmc in being stricken from my list of people who I would quite like to see attending my classes.

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