Friday, December 5, 2008

You say you lost your faith but that's not where it's at

Friday, December 5, 2008
Oh you big fucking chicken-shit quitter. You thug, you bully, you treacherous cunt, you. We know why you quit Ireland, huffing your way off the island like a ten year old girl who's not allowed to watch yet another episode of Hannah Montana on her daddy's phone and we know why you quit Sunderland. Because you're a fucking coward, that's why. Fine, you don't want the job. Who could blame you? Sunderland may be an even worse place to live than Cork, though I fucking doubt it. But why now? Why now when this time last year the team were in pretty much the same position? We know, Roy, we know. You're fooling fucking no one. You couldn't face the prospect of leading your self-built team of mediocrity to the sporting rape-fest that is scheduled to take place this Saturday, could you? Couldn't face a well-deserved spanking from your former father figure.

What's your plan now, you fuck? Rhetorical question, prick, we know that too. You're going to fucking lurk about with your ridiculous, 'Look Ma, I can grow facial hair, I'm so fucking wise!' beard, until Trapp dies or we fail to qualify for the World Cup, at which point you reckon you can sidle into the job, take us to the Europeans, and then fuck off back to your dog boyfriend when every fucking little thing doesn't go your way.

You're such a winner, Roy. Because if you quit then you can't lose. Isn't that right, you yellow-bellied wank stain?

23 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Manuel said...

arse! roy keane's is magic and he wears a magic hat, apparently....roy and his dog will be round to visit you and your unbelieving ways shortly.....

like good party guests Mr Keane knows when to leave rather than sitting on and stinking the place up.....

red leeroy said...

Man Utd 0 Sunderland 1 ? nah perhaps not.

gimme a minute said...

Winnable games against West Brom, Hull and Blackburn coming up.

He's leaving your metaphorical party because his Dad called to say he was coming to pick him up and Roy didn't want to be embarrassed in front of all of his mates.

Red Leeroy:
That would indeed be a happy scoreline.

Upsets happen all the time. If Roy is such a fucking leader of men he should have stayed and attempted to inspire his players to just such a result.

Radge said...

His interim replacement is Ricky Sbragia. Since when is an 'S' followed by a 'b'?

That aside, I'm sick of this inner demons bullshit. Better men than him have learned how to lose.

stipes said...

I have to agree, 53 professional on the books,and he didn't know the best 11. I don't think we'll see him again

gimme a minute said...

They have indeed. Inner demons my arse.

Oh, I think we'll see him again. And again and again and again.

Sniffle&Cry said...

You and he share an anger Gimme. Your departing love note is not dissimilar to his own undying profession to Alfie. And you and he may soon be brother bloggers for he too, is Stranded. And there’s the obsessional fitness thing. Projection Gimme.

gimme a minute said...

You've made the resignation of a struggling Premiership manager about me.

Nice one.

savannah said...

ok, i get it...this is about football! i'll just keep reading. xoxox

Conan Drumm said...

Resign or be fired? Was that the question? ...Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.
Soft you now!

gimme a minute said...

Yay! You called it football!

Although as Sniffle pointed out the post is in fact about me.

He wasn't going to be fired, Quinn begged him to stay.

But you know, thanks for raising the tone there.

Andrew said...

Gimme, you may just have inspired someone at RTÉ, as they used a Dylan song over a montage of Roy's Sunderland years at the end of The Premiership last night. I think it might have been the one you quoted in the title of this piece, I don't really know enough about The Bobster to be sure.

As for the post, I honestly can't work out if it's simply about Roy, or asomeone pointed out, a bit more personal. So I'm saying nothing, and taking a long time to do so.

Manuel said...

vidic.....never a doubt...

roykeane said...

I left Cobh and won Premier League Titles, FA Cups, League Cups, helped win the Champions League, took a team from the bottom of the second tier and got them promoted and kept them up.

You have two kids but couldn't afford to get married, managed to go through the biggest economic boom in recent western European history and yet still live in rented accommodation and cry like a fucking baby when some menopausal bint doesn't smile at you during your spin class?

And I am a wankstain? What is a spin class, is this where you teach other women the intricacies of the last phases of the washing cycle.

I suggest you stop having this homo-erotic fantasy with me in it, or at least leave me well out of it. Stop crying, grow some balls and buy a house you silly bitch. Or else call your blog "Stranded on Hopelessly Gay" and be done with it.

Fucking Purple Car, what a twat...

gimme a minute said...

Thieving RTE Cunts. First they take my livelihood and now this shit.

The post is about Keane, honest.

I suspect that there's a whole lot of relief in that 'never a doubt.'

Roy Keane:
You know, ever since you shaved off your beard, I feel much less inclined to picture myself coming all over your face. I think it may be a globule thing.

Nevertheless I'm glad that you are such an avid reader and I hope that you continue to visit and comment so constructively.

Sunderland FC said...

Sunderland FC would like to apologize for any inconvenience caused by a former employee who used office equipment to send unsolicited emails on his last day of work. The bulk of these consisted of scans of the employee’s big hairy Cork arse, circulated mainly to journalists and the Football Association of Ireland.

gimme a minute said...

Sunderland FC:
I got off lightly so.

Thanks for clearing this matter up.

roykeane said...

irrespectove of any faux-unaffected replies you offer, the fact remains that you are a prissy little cunt who will bawl thei eyes out at the merest hint that someone has not given you the attention you feel you deserve.

When you get round to buying a house and stuff, you know the stuff that real adults do, as opposed to sitting on a bike that goes nowhere (a metaphor methinks) impressing aged ladies with your physicality, and impressing no-one else with your actual achievements, then you might, just might have a point.

But as you will still refer to your girlfriend and her kids in some sort of aspirant middle class terminology, although remember, the middle classes actually own property and have real jobs, you might take a while.

I can't wait for you, maybe they can, lets hope you join the real word soon darling...

Annie A said...

Excuse me while I contemplate the irony of an anonymous commenter telling someone else to "grow some balls".

Pyjamas Cat said...

Just when you think the internet is getting boring, an anonymous person decides to vent their rage about the contents of a blog.

my favourites

"yet still live in rented accommodation and cry like a fucking baby when some menopausal bint doesn't smile at you during your spin class"

the attention to detail here is astounding, Aplus

"Stop crying, grow some balls and buy a house you silly bitch. Or else call your blog 'Stranded on Hopelessly Gay'"

A lovely crying motif developing me thinks!

V said...

So they just discovered the Internet down in Cork...and trolling too.


gimme a minute said...

'I can't wait for you...'

Oh no! Please wait! I'll do it! I'll get a real job! I'll buy a house! Please don't leave me! How can I go on without you, a-nonny-mous cunt?

Annie A:
Isn't it Alanis? Don't you think?

Pyjama Cat:

Yeah, it's quality stuff for sure. Though I should point out it's been more than 24 hours since I last cried over a menopausal bint.

You'll be shocked to learn that Roy has been posting from Dublin these last two nights.

Fuck, maybe it's not the real Roy Keane.

Common Law said...

Roy - We're not middle class. We have neither property nor real jobs. We merely stare in at the middle classes through their windows while they have their dinners. Thanks for explaining the difference between us and the middle classes though. So that's that cleared up and us put back in our boxes. Thanks Roy.

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