Saturday, January 10, 2009

I tried hard to swallow, the lump just wouldn't stay down

Saturday, January 10, 2009
Via Verona's Journal, a dark tale of pre-internet chatroom grooming.

'Well, you better believe I took my turn at riding Teddy Bear.'

Christ.


11 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

problemchildbride said...

Ha! This is freakin' hilarious! The lil cripple boy wid no daddy and the trucker with a heart o' peeyoor gold!
Aaw dangit, I'm a think I'm a gunna cry!
*Blows nose*

Captain Smack said...

There is another 70's country song that is in the same class as this one, I believe it's called "Jimmy, this is Jesus" (or maybe "Jesus, this is Jimmy", as both lines appear in the song).

gimme a minute said...

Problemcildbride:
I think you're wilfully ignoring the ensuing creepiness.

Or maybe I'm just fucking sick.

Captain Smack:
It appears to be quite the sub-genre.

Elvis, I'm guessing, would approve.

Conan Drumm said...

That's a 10-4, Big Daddy. Question is - is the subtext there?

problemchildbride said...

I am wilfully ignoring it. It's a life strategy that allowed me to get through piano lessons with a creepy teacher, a girl I used to sit next to in a chilly genetics class who as far as I could tell only existed for the length of the class, and that time my brother and I broke down on the Ullapool Inverness road in the dead of winter and had to beg for gallons of water to cool the radiator from the creepiest middle-aged couple in God's Scotland. It was Glen Royston Vasey. As with all creepy things, the only way to shake off the goose-bumps is to warm myself up with a larf at it. Ho ho ho shudder ho ho ho shudder. That's the way.

stipes said...

I listened all the way through. Twice. The poor little wasn't cured. whats the point?

gimme a minute said...

Conan:
Do you mean is it intentional? Probably not.

But I see it and so for me, it's very, very there.

Problemchildbride:
I have much to learn from you. Ho ho ho.

Stipes:
He got to ride the trucks! They had a collection! They re-animated his father's rotting corpse!

Okay, not the last one. But, you know, God loves him and shit. It's happy and sad at the same time. What's wrong with you? Are you some kind of bitter cynic?

V said...

It is also the funniest thing in ages. Says a lot about our modern paranoia..

gimme a minute said...

V:
Uh-huh. I should have donated it to your tv station, but I'm selfish like that.

Manuel said...

when you listen to it with your eyes open, if you know what I mean, it really is quite ghastly.....I need a shower.....

gimme a minute said...

Manuel:
I'm starting to feel bad now. I'm sure it's just a sweet ballad about the love between a crippled fatherless boy and a burly long-distance trucker.

Oh dear.

 
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