Thursday, January 8, 2009

I want roses in my garden bower; dig?

Thursday, January 8, 2009

This woman I know, this family member of mine, is dying. She's got lung cancer. Her daughter is getting married in August. But the mother won't be there. Want to know why? Yes, yes, because she's going to die. But you want to know why she's going to die? Yes, yes, because she has lung cancer.

But. Fucking but.

It was caught pretty early, this just below the clavicle tumour and I get the impression that they could well have hacked the motherfucker out and radiated the crap out of the surrounding area. Prognosis in this instance? Probably pretty shitty, but chances are she would have made it to August. August and beyond, I guess. I'm guessing, clearly, unclearly.

Here's why she won't make to to August, no way, no fucking how. She is treating her lung cancer with a macrobiotic diet and reiki. Oh yes she is. Did you know that the most famous proponent of macrobiotics as cancer treatment, Michio Kushi, also considers smoking to be a valuable treatment for various lung disorders? And were you aware that a macrobiotic diet is essentially a fuck load of brown rice and various legumes? So not only is this woman going to die horribly before she gets to see her daughter wed, but she doesn't even get to eat the rich pasta sauces that she has spent the last forty years fattening herself up on while she does it.

She's also broke. She just took one thousand euro from her sister to pay for reiki treatments. And maybe she believes these treatments will work. Maybe she does. But the cunt who's taking the money doesn't believe that. No he fucking doesn't, dude. Fatmammycat calls it woo, but I, because I'm a fucking drama queen, think it's a whole lot closer to murder.

She's not so young that her death can be considered tragic. Wings where we had shoulders smooth as raven’s claws, innit? But it's still fucking sick, is what it is. Sick that a seemingly rational woman could be so fucking stupid and dare I say, oh yes I fucking dare, selfish, sick that someone would conspire with this stupidity, this selfishness, for financial gain.

Too many stupid, needless deaths in this family. I swear to fuck, if I still smoked, I would murder a healthy cigarette right about now.

16 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

There may be a placebo effect, of sorts, if she believes in it strongly enough. But then she's likely to go down hill very fast.

The person taking her money is a shyster of the lowest order, worse than the criminal who puts their hand in your pocket and steals your money.

Medbh said...

Can we organize a gang to meet the woo master with some rusty pipes and a man eating dog?

Has she been on the diet long? She'll be terribly hungry soon and maybe open to eating some real fucking food.

The Bad Ambassador said...

If people want to believe in alternative medicine/therapies I don't really have a problem with that - particularly if its in the treatment of something non lethal like common cold, a headache or a dicky tummy.

I don't think you should fuck with cancer though. A "belt and braces" approach is what's called for. Give the macrobiotic diet and mumbo-jumbo-hand-waving thing a try - but just in case that doesn't pan out try the radiation treatment on the side too.

Radioactive brown rice maybe?

fatmammycat said...

I...actually I'm going to have to come back to this one, I can feel heat rising.

Dave said...

Should these fucks be jailed for fraud or murder? Surely any business that claims to be able to treat a disease should be subject to the same stringent checks that any new medical procedure or drug goes through? Why isn't that the case, though?

I'm really sorry for your relation, Gimme. I hope she sees sense before it's too late, if it isn't already.

fatmammycat said...

I've come across this bollocks before, and you can be sure this huckster is covering his arse by NOT claiming he can cure it completely but that his 'healing' will assist your relative by releasing the negative energies that 'fuel' cancer in the body. The same type of fucker convinced a very dear friend of mine she had could sense her pain and her darkness and charged her accoordingly when she was gravely ill with cancer, but funnily enough didn't fucking notice when my friend died ( one might imagine the 'reiki healer' might have sensed fucking something as energy zapping as death)
Gimmie, is there not someone in your family that can get your relative to adopt a more practical approach to managing her cancer? Jesus, even if she still wants to go to the Huckster, get her to be treated properly as well.

gimme a minute said...

Maybe they can get Placebo to play the wedding.

Months. She appears to be pretty committed to this course of action.

The Bad Ambassador:
For sure. Eat what you want, just don't wilfully ignore proven treatments.

Thanks, dude. Though I gather that it may well be too late.

I had me a massive enraged rant in the presence of somebody who's going to see her soon. She lives abroad. And she was always stubborn. If her husband and children have been unable to convince her, well I don't know. Here's hoping.

morgor said...

Ugh, that gives me a bit of a sinking feeling in my stomach and I don't even know anyone involved.

gimme a minute said...

You're clearly not eating enough brown rice.

Conan Drumm said...

Nah, has to be Therapy?

morgor said...

you should come and smell my poo to be sure. (like Gillian McKeith)

gimme a minute said...


I can smell it from here. And I'm pretty sure that's herpes I'm a-sniffin'.

savannah said...

it is incredible what fear will do to people. *sigh* i hope she will listen to reason soon.

the dublinista said...

Great post. You made so many excellent points.

My sympathies lie with your relative and your family. I can undersatnd your feelings towards her, but I wouldn't see it as her being selfish-maybe thats because I'm outside the situation.

I'm rooted in modern medicine, but I can still see a place for a holistic approach to health. Cancer isn't it. And anyone who's ever watched someone die a horrible death from it can testify to that.

Anonymous said...

alternative therapy should be treated like hard drugs - they're absolutely fine if you're young, healthy, have no kids or dependants, and no one would miss you anyway. in any other circumstance you should probably avoid them stick to reality based living.

gimme a minute said...

Too true, Savannah. But then the concept of living on brown rice scares the fuck out of me.

the dublinista:
I guess the terminal illness permits a little selfishness. I'm going to be hell to live with when I get the news.

That's a comment worthy of a name.

I dub thee 'Spot On'.

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