Here's what I hate about the stupid internet: you can always get what you want. Sexy bicycle videos? You fucking betcha. You would not believe how difficult it used to be to get sexy bicycle videos. One time you might even have rented a sexy bicycle video and discovered it was a very wrong type of sexy bicycle video and been forced to send a brazen V back to the video shop to demand a refund.
I also have access to every single fucking song that I've ever heard and as I prefer listening to songs that I've already heard I haven't liked a new song in about four years. I listen to songs from my twenties, songs from my teens and increasingly, songs from my childhood.
I found 'All Aboard', you see. I've been looking for this for some time on the pretext that even if the Bridge Crew refuse to open their minds and ear holes to the delights of Dylan, the wonders of Waits and the sublimity of Shakira then they will surely appreciate the tunes of my toddlerdom. And so it has proved.
'Right Said Fred' is a favourite. 'Ernie' is popular too. The casual racism in 'My Boomerang Won't Come Back' is being generously overlooked. But how about this particular version of 'The Banana Boat Song'? (Please ignore video).I post that fucker everywhere. My sole contribution to the Twenty Forum, it was greeted with a tumbling silence. I put it up here to little more response. I'm always fucking quoting it. I think it's the greatest, funniest, most profound piece of perfection in the world. I deeply relate to that uptight, stoned, bongo-drumming hippy. I didn't want to make this gig in the first place either! I don't dig spiders neither! My ears! Like, my ears! It's the Life of Gimme in a song.
The Bridge Crew can take it or leave it.
I got one more.