Friday, January 30, 2009

In an otherwise empty room

Friday, January 30, 2009
A Bridge Crew update? Do I have to? Fucking snore, like.

Riker's in big trouble. Two days in a row she's left a vital piece of homework apparatus in school. I'm running out of punishments. God be with days when I could have just clathered her across the head and hurled her into the coal shed. We don't have a coal shed, is the big problem with that. Instead, no pocket money, no tv. Next I guess we start removing digits.

She went to bed tonight complaining of a headache and a sore throat. Or a 'sore throath' as her grandmother calls it. Every time Mother in Common Law uses those words I want to gayly dance about the room, singing in my best soprano: 'It ends with a fucking T! It ends with a fucking T!' I have so far refrained. Riker, in contrast, is failing to refrain from faking. And she's faking in the hope of her not having to face her table, who will not get a star tomorrow because one of their number has fucked it up. I believe that I tire of this teacher and her clever enforcing exploitation of peer pressure.

Data's happy. Which is slightly weird. She's emerging from toddlerdom at last, I think, all reasonable and helpful and dying to contribute to the smooth running of the household. She's particularly big into cooking the dinner. Which has the happy side effect or her actually eating at dinner time. 'This is the best dinner ever!' she declared tonight. That may have been because the main ingredient was butter.

I know what's really up with her though. It's her mother being home during the day, playing with her, giving her guilt ice cream, letting her away with shit. Common Law'll be back in rehearsals soon enough and I'll be left with a bawling ball of heartsick miserabilty. I can't fucking wait.

Enough? Enough.

12 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Manuel said...

I was no stranger to the coal shed........many a month was spent in the darkness.....happy days.....

Sniffle said...

I was no stranger to the clathering.

savannah said...

oh my.

Medbh said...

I hate those shaming techniques in the classroom. Kids only come to dread being there as it whittles down their self-esteem.

gimme a minute said...

Manuel:
I bet you go under the stairs now when you're disappointed with yourself.

Sniffle:
I bet you get out the cat o' nine tails and go at it when you're disappointed with yourself.

Just me?

Savannah:
No, they're all my.

Medbh:
I'm just about to go upstairs and rate her 'I'm sick' performance. If it's say, nominatable, I'll let her stay home.

RedLeeroy said...

Those gold stars wrecked my life. Never gold. Always silver. Could do better eh eh. Could do better. Now I think I have a sore throath.

Conan Drumm said...

The Khmer Rouge invented that star chart system.

Bring back the leather and the cane, the shame doesn't burn so deep.

Twenty Major said...

'sore throath'

Haha, that made me laugh.

And you hear people pronounce it 'chroath'. Those people need a punch right in the throath.

Radge said...

...Every time Mother in Common Law uses those words I want to gayly dance about the room, singing in my best soprano: 'It ends with a fucking T! It ends with a fucking T!'...

Applause.

Terence McDanger said...

Seconded Radge.

A girl I fancied used to enrage me by saying 'thongue'.

I finally got to kiss her, and yes, it was all lumpy and difficult.

stipes said...

Picked up the grandson from school today.
"we won again, 3 weeks in a row"
"maybe next week you'll give the others a chance"
mutters "no feckin' way"
He needs a clather.

gimme a minute said...

Red Leeroy:
Do they have a working schlub equivalent?

I should get a real job so I might know the answers to these questions.

Conan:
Ah!

and

Hmmm...

Twenty Major:
She's got a million of them. You'll notice that I didn't say 'millon'.

Radge:
Bowing. Moving off stage. Running back on as the applause dissipates to force every fucker to keep clapping.

Terence:
That is very good.

Stipes:
He won't get one though.

And he's right anyway, losing is for losers.

 
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