Monday, January 12, 2009

Thought that we'd be last to go

Monday, January 12, 2009
I like it when I can feel it all coming back together. The effortless steadiness, the lack of silent cries for a cessation, most of all the constant knowledge that yes, there is a little more there. And all this with a heavy, heavy workload. More voluntary volume and velocity than I have even attempted in more than a year.

What? What's he talking about? The broken dishwasher? He's washing up a lot? He washes up really fast? Fucking hell, this is even boringer than the avocuntingcados.


No, I wash up really slowly.

What? I'm confused. I'm bored. I want a cigarette. I want some smack, some crack, a rub on the back.


We're discussing exercise.

Oh. That's not much better.

If I may?

Go on then.

Thank you. Last week I ran twice. I cycled to work four times. 80k. Peanuts of course, but more peanuts than I've shelled in many a month. And I ran. Ran for 25 minutes, twice. Really fucking slowly but reasonably comfortably. Did maybe 10k in total. Weird to be covering that distance on foot. Lifted the big boys in pump. Progressively stronger in the week's seven spin.

Would you get to the fucking point?

I stopped smoking. There you go. I don't know why the fuck I started again, (I do) but I now know that I've stopped. I didn't mention it before for fear of the jinxiness. But I pretty much knew when I woke up on Monday that it was doable, oh yeah, I could do this shit again. And I did. And I feel good for it. In fact I feel so good that I think the best course of action is to wait another seven years and then start again just so I can get another hit off this happy, smug, newly non-smoking high. But then I'm thinking there's no way this energy and hideous positivity can last for seven weeks, let alone seven years. Fuck it, maybe I'll just start again now. Bum a smoke, dude?

Absolutely.

21 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

savannah said...

it's fucked up, isn't it? i love, but i quit cold turkey. i stopped thinking about how long ago it was after a week. but, yeah, i could bum a cig in a heartbeat.


but i won't.

good luck, sugar.

xoxo

gimme a minute said...

Savannah:
I think it's a little easier with a gig like mine where the benefits are so immediately obvious.

Radge said...

The hat is off. The hat is off and on the hook.

Conan Drumm said...

Yeah, 'give it up and start again' as the man sang. Why did you start again, or is that an ecumenical question?

stipes said...

Well done on the 7 years. I lasted 6. At the moment I'm into my third and going well, thanks to the weather and smokeless pubs.

fatmammycat said...

Startling isn't it? Well done. Very well done indeed.

Red Leeroy said...

feel the burn...

gimme a minute said...

Radge:
Thank you. You indulge? Not as hard as you think to stop, if you were so inclined.

Conan:
It is, somewhat.

But involved was the wilful ignoring of the fact that there is no such thing as 'just the one' for a smoker of my pedigree.

stipes:
I'm confused by your timeline. You gave up for six years and are now back on them for three? Probably the other way round, right? Either way, good man yourself.

Fatmammycat:
Thank you. It is. Shockingly simple at times.

Red Leeroy:
Very good.

Or maybe you're just having pretend plane crash flashbacks.

Rosie said...

i hate excercise so much that i misspell it, out of spite.

Radge said...

I don't but I'm more inclined to start, right around now.

gimme a minute said...

Rosie:
Free euphoria, I can see why you'd have a problem with that.

Radge:
Well, smoking is super cool.

Conan Drumm said...

Ah, you're a "My name is Gimme and I'm a nicoholic" kind of non-smoker.

red leeroy said...

I can assure you Gimme it was all too sickeningly real. I would have given anything for a cool refreshing cigarette right about then...

Medbh said...

I have 4 packs left and then I will be out of delicious Parliament Lights and will quit smoking.
Good for you, Gimme.

gimme a minute said...

Conan:
Yes, yes I am. I'm on step pretending it's not happening. Eight? I can't remember.

Red Leeroy:
That would have helped with the nausea.

Medbh:
No rush. You have till August. Or I will end up starting again, to be cool like you.

No rush and no pressure.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Nice one Gimme.

It's scary how out of breath you get so quickly. I make myself run (be honest, walk briskly) but still smoke.

I feel like a dog banging its head against a window...I'll never learn.

gimme a minute said...

Jeez, Mr Deleter Guy, I thought that was pretty funny.

Accidental nomenclature, was it?

Sarah Gostrangely:
I know that feeling. If you'd rather knock it on the head I suggest you read the book.

No loss if it doesn't work, but it will, I suspect.

Me Wan said...

Mr. Gimme, I flippin love reading your blog. Delighted I came across it.
I decided to give up cigarettes while living in Spain where they're €2.70. I feel even smugger knowing I kicked that nasty (but ooo soo cool) habit to the curb with fags at that knock down price!

gimme a minute said...

Me Wan:
Thank you and welcome.

It was in Salamanca that I got right back into the smoking thing again, though the heavy partying of the week before did set the scene. So you should be very proud, is my point, I think.

badgerdaddy said...

Nice work.

gimme a minute said...

Badgerdaddy:
Cheers.

 
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