Wednesday, January 21, 2009

You know I have to make them dividends

Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Jesus, but some people are so fucking full of themselves and so fucking shameless about it too. It's the lack of shame that really gets to me, I think. I mean, I believe that I am fucking marvellous, I'm secure in the knowledge of my extreme talent and physical beauty but you don't hear me going on and fucking on about it. And if you do, it's with shame as a subtext, self-revulsion as a backdrop and insecurity as an all-encompassing blanket.

It's the latest thing in self-expression, apparently. Telling the world how great you are, how important. How wonderful your relationship, how fulfilling your job, how satisfyingly salty your gooch. And always with that pinch of self-deprecation. How I hate the self-deprecation, the false modesty, the I broke my arse, I'm not really going to win the award, I do have this one leetle flaw bit. Just fuck off. Fuck off and shut up.

I'm too busy watching President Obama trying to get himself shot to be dealing with the likes of you. Also I should admit to having eaten an entire packet of Lady Fingers (not what you think) and I have what is either a sugar-induced headache or a well-deserved brain tumour. This may have informed my annoyance at whatever it is that I'm annoyed about.

But probably not, you stupid, self-deluding fucks.

11 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Medbh said...

Yay for your nomination, Gimme!

Common Law said...

Yes you can!

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Do you mean okra, Gimme when you say Ladies Fingers, or are they some newfangled biscuit?

I only ask cos its lunch time and I'm hungry.

gimme a minute said...

Hmmph. I mean, thanks. And for your too.

Common Law:
I don't recall asking for permission.

Sarah Gostrangely:
More oldfangled really.

But honestly, I'd advise against them. I have a Lady Finger hangover.

fatmammycat said...

Yes, but what did you do about Mimi?

emordino said...

I've always called them Boudoir biscuits. A two-second google tells me that they can also be called "Savoiardi," which I think we can agree is swish as bedanged.

gimme a minute said...

I confronted her. She broke down and admitted to an ongoing Gimme obsession.

Not really. She wasn't in yesterday morning and I had the evening off. I'll let you know.

Swish, surely. But Lady Fingers! I mean, Lady Fingers!

That has to remain top of the pile.

Conan Drumm said...

So, you've got the acceptance speech written and you're ready for your entrance, are you?

Twenty Major said...

I think you should make a whole list of those posts where you shun such outrageous behaviour. Please.

Radge said...

I hate self expression fads.

gimme a minute said...

I'm getting that Clinton tit-squeezing Favreau guy on it.

It's going to make Obama's inauguration bit look like a vocal turd.

Good plan. I could spend the entire day compiling said list and then put it in my sidebar for the consideration of, you know, any one who might be interested in considering it.

Oh, there's a few I've enjoyed over the years.

The 'sitting in my bedroom shaping angry messages from the lettering on Iron Maiden posters' was a favourite.

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