Tuesday, February 17, 2009

They came and drew us diagrams

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I am tired. You do not want to know about this. Nor do you want to know about the spin classes that have been spun nor the iron that has been pumped. But I am too sleepy to write about anything else. So instead I suggest that you take yourselves off and build your own Stranded on Gaia post from the following birthday bricks:

Riker's turning of the ten.

Mother in Common Law getting Riker a sewing machine.

The fucking patriarchy and Mother in Common Law's enthusiastic embracing thereof.

By special Common Law request, Mother in Common Law never having been arsed explaining to her own daughter what the fuck a bobbin is.

The recession and how much cheaper it would be to make our own clothes.

Unless we shop in Penneys.

Where you can get a child's t-shirt emblazoned with the words 'Queen of The Universe' for €2.

So fuck you, ten year olds in Bangladesh.

Why, when wearing a white baseball hat with pink trim, pink writing what proclaims 'Pretty Princess' and a built in pink bow, Data believes that she looks like a boy.

More patriarchy stuff.

Off you go now.

10 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Manuel said...

I cant go first I terrible stage fright......

Meadow said...

Last year in Penney's, I was depressed to see little girls' t-shirts with the Playboy bunny logo on them. Horrible.

Sassy Sundry said...

My mom gave my sister a sewing machine for the same reason. She didn't give one to me.

Medbh said...

Yeah, those captive Mormon ladies have patterns available for those prairie dresses designed to hide the sin-inducing female flesh.

Conan Drumm said...

Worry not, the fluffy pink and ribbons stage can go all doc martens, shaved heads and gay pride by age fifteen. Then you can turn to the MICL and say it's all her fault.

fatmammycat said...

Wot? No padded bras? No 'body glitter'? (All the rage for parties it seems). The lady is remiss.
Aside for all that I hope it went swimmingly.

Red Leeroy said...

It'll be the Bebo sewing circle next.

gimme a minute said...

I'm just glad you're still talking to me.

Oh yeah. Coming to a Penneys near you, a new range of children's skirts from the 'Cum Dumpster' range.

I believe that might be something of which to be proud.

Unless she was saying she thought you were a big lezzer.

Mmmm, sin inducing shins.

That sounds like my idea of heaven. No grubby boys touching my little girl, and Mother in Common Law shouldering the blame.

She had an excellent day. Karaoke party still to come though, after the mid-term.

Kill me now.

Red Leeroy:
I just spent five precious minutes looking for a Bebo sewing related page.

I have to stop reading these comments.

problemchildbride said...

PC2 told me the other day, "I hate Barbie, she's so stupid." I could have wept with pride. Just one minor parental victory in the war against the dumbing down of our little girls into nail-salon-going, poodle-grooming-getting little Shopping Princesses. The forces massed against us are great though. Pink and great. The battle is by no means yet won.

gimme a minute said...

It's all very Pass of Thermopylae. Keep an eye out for that cunt Ephialtes.

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