Saturday, March 28, 2009

And I felt like getting high

Saturday, March 28, 2009
We've fucked it all up and we will be extinct soon. Or as near as dammit. Post Zombie War levels of population is where we're going, if we survive at all, and it'll be all our fault. Even if a billion remain, incredible suffering and destruction will prevail. We know this.

Thing is, if you're reading this now, as opposed to when 'The Wisdom of Gimme' is bigger than the fucking Bible, then you'll be probably be dead before it gets too bad. Get in! We're the ones who fucked it up, we're the ones who had the chance to turn it around, but we don't have to pay! What an excellent deal. So whatever you fucking do, don't turn your fucking lights off. That would kind of mess with the plan for us to suck every available resource into our insanely comfortable lives.

So I just went outside. Walked to the middle of our L shaped cul de sac. Shrieked down both lines: 'Not one? Not one of you fucking cunts?'

And then I walked back to my darkened house. And turned all the lights back on. If they don't do it, I don't have to.

12 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Betty said...

Oh Gimme. I know what you mean. There were a lot of dark houses on our street though. I'm just not sure if that was for Earth Hour or because lots of people had gone out for Saturday night.

I'm hoping it was Earth Hour. I can't bring myself to embrace the bleakness of the alternative. I applaud your Cassandra-like assertions of the cruel reality, though.

fatmammycat said...

I'm not really sure about 56 mins, but ooookaaaaaaaay. We ignored Earth hour with rum.

Rosie said...

and i forgot about it with vodka.

Sentence of the Week is wonderful.

gimme a minute said...

Betty:
I'm changing my name to Cassandra A. Minute.

Fatmammycat: This one's for you.

Rosie:
It has a certain something, alright.

fatmammycat said...

And at 0.52 seconds in, verily, loud raucous laughter startled many-including, happily, some slumbering cats.

Medbh said...

We lit the place up with candles and opened many bottles of wine.

Those crying hippies are hilarious.

Manuel said...

the boss wouldn't go for it.....I tried not because I give a shit but because I wanted to go for one.....in the dark

gimme a minute said...

Fatmammycat:
That's a pre-haircut me, with the bongos, right at the end.

Medbh:
Nice.

But you know we're running out of sand right? Please buy your wine in hand-woven wicker containers from now on.

Manuel:
You couldn't have just turned the toilet light off yourself? There would have been spillage, huh?

Light spillage! Light spillage!

V said...

My money is still on 'biohazard' to wipe us out, though if Pakistan implodes then I'll put a few quid on good old fashioned Nuclear War.

gimme a minute said...

V:
The place needs a lick of pestilence alright.

Anonymous said...

Yawns delicatly.

gimme a minute said...

Anonymous:
Are you attempting to get my attention? Is there something I can help you with? The spelling of 'delicately' perhaps?

 
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