Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Deep in the cell of my heart

Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Oooh. I'm up. I'm going. I'm typing about as fast as a guy who can't type can type and yet still my heart races like Lance with a complicit drug tester.

Couple of months back me and the Common Law came to a compromise. She was finding the espresso in her lattes uncomfortably strong. We had been long time 'Rich roast - Strength 4' users and I agreed to take it down to 'Medium Roast - Strength 3'. I didn't really get it to be honest, because what's the point in coffee if it's not jaw-grindingly strong, right? But thus are happy non-marriages maintained. Last week though, frustrated by the non-handleness of our current coffee maker, she told me that she was going to buy a new one. 'Disco,' I thought and went straight out and kicked it up to 'Espresso - Strength 5', in the knowledge that we would now be a two pot partnership. She never got around to it, but the coffee was bought and must now be used.

It's a big jump, both in strength and levels of instant addiction. I'm on my third pot, eighth shot. It's only three pm. I have all the things I get when I am unable to get my pie hole around any caffeine. The headache, the shakes, the crippling sense of uselessness. I'm not constipated though, I'll give Strength 5 that much. Nope, I've gone the whole other direction with that one.

The crash is coming though, and I suspect that when it comes time to shout and scream and cycle hard I will be found slumped on the bars, snoring peacefully.

Just one more shot then.

10 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

Lavazza (rosso), the morning dble dble shot is the daily dose.

Kim Ayres said...

I have to limit myself to 2 coffees a day - strength 5 double espresso in the morning and a strength 5 cafetierre (?) in the afternoon.

If I didn't I would be horribly addicted.

Sassy Sundry said...

My brother-in-law calls that "going in the other direction" General Coffee's Orders.

Red Leeroy said...

How much spent on coffee per year? smokes, barbiturates, snuff I can all understand, coffee I just don't get.

gimme a minute said...

Dude! Fairtrade! I have liberal sensibilities to waste my money on!

I am horribly addicted.

I always respect the chain of command.

Life without coffee is empty. The dizzying lows! The sickening highs!

And one million euro. I spend one million euro a year on coffee.

Manuel said...

avoid the crash and stay topped up.....keep going til your heart pops.....yah for heart popping coffee.....

Conan Drumm said...

Yes, but I'd have to considerably extend my personal carbon footprint to a Tesco which has corporately trucked, airmiled, and trucked it again from very, very far away and slapped a usurious "Paddy Premium" on the € retail price.

gimme a minute said...

Yay for it!

You're a hero in many ways, sir, but the coping with what must be a daily dose of 'expresso' serving must make you worthy of beatification.

Yeah, well, I...

I'm going to shut up and drink my coffee.

Medbh said...

The other day I took an extra strength Claritin, had four cups of tea and a double cappucino.
Then the pain in my chest started.

gimme a minute said...

Ah chest pain. Nature's prissy, hyper-sensitive early warning system.

Best treated with a calming cup of joe.

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