Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I think we hit a pyschic wall

Wednesday, March 11, 2009
'Why is Patrick Day green?'

'Pardon, sweetie?'

'Why is Patrick Day green?'

'You mean why does everyone wear green on St Patrick's Day?'

'And flags. We're making green flags in Mount Ten Story for Patrick Day.'

'Yes, flags too. Well, you see green is our national colour. Because of the grass or something. And St. Patrick is our national saint. Because of snakes or something. So that's why St Patrick's Day is green.'

'Snakes aren't green.'

'Some of them are.'

'Patrick Day should be pink.'

'You think everything should be pink.'

'Patrick is pink.'

'Is he?'

'Yes.'

'What Patrick is this?'

'Patrick Star.'

'I don't know who that is.'

'Oh, Dad.'

'Riker, who's Patrick Star?'

'Oh, Dad.'

'What?'

'Patrick. From Spongebob.'


Data, I feel, will not be shooting too many police officers in the back of the head in the name of a United Ireland. Plankton though, had better watch the fuck out.

11 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Kel D said...

It IS one of the most offensive shades of green. I wonder why marketing go for those gopping shades. Barbie Pink, St Patrick's Day Green, HOLY CRIVENS WHY.

(I always thought it was green as in shamrocks myself.)

Manuel said...

send her to belfast for st patrick's day....it's not green in belfast......it's multi coloured so as not to offend anyone.....like the whole two anthem malarky in rugby......it's very disappointing....

stipes said...

Mount Ten Story!!
You're putting words in her mouth.

Gav said...

It's green as in the rivers of vomit that flow down the principal streets of the city after we've celebrated our national identity with the help of those neon discount booze stores.

Radge said...

I count the closing paragraph to this as one of the best you've written.

Conan Drumm said...

Alas I've missed out on the psychic joys of Spongebob. Was there a Plankton Plantation back in the day?

savannah said...

they are adorable, sugar!

sigh

aside: do ya'll throw out beads to the crowds during the parade? or is that yet another american innovation?

xoxo

gimme a minute said...

No beads, Sav, just bottles of cheap whiskey and roll up tobacco.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Patrick is *such* a cool name for a starfish. When I have a baby starfish, I'm going to name him/her that.

Anonymous said...

You didn't know who Patrick Star was?

seriously?

gimme a minute said...

Sometimes we make sacrifices for the sake of the narrative.

Shockingly not every little detail of this conversation is taken from real life.

 
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