Wednesday, March 25, 2009

It's over, you don't need to tell me

Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I was so very young when we were first together that I barely recall how it felt. Just seventeen when we first parted and I believe I may have been a little relieved even then. And now as we reach the same point, so many years later, relief is once more my dominant emotion.

I'd like to say that 'it's not you, it's me'. But in all conscience, I cannot. It is you. I've done nothing wrong. Tried my best. Even at the beginning, after that briefest of honeymoon periods, it was something of a struggle. But I did all I could, always.

I have to say that there were times when I was a little ashamed of you, even embarrassed by your brazenness. Your constant need to be the topic of every conversation, at the most inappropriate times. Was it absolutely necessary for us to discuss you at that funeral, as the body was lowered into the ground?

Sure, there were good times, when you would appear suddenly before my eyes, surprising me with your beauty, your independence, your vigour. And perhaps there were times when I revelled in the attention you brought. But the bad days always seemed to outnumber the good, and when, in these last few weeks, I found myself attempting to buy with expensive gifts and treats your affection, or at least your occasional compliance, I knew that our time together was near its end.

I was trying to recapture my youth, I admit it. I should have known better. I'm truly sorry if this hurts you, but you could have made it so much easier. I only ever wanted you to be long, you only ever wanted to be big.

I will shed no tears as I, Monday to Wednesday, fork out my seven euro in Just Cuts.

19 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

emordino said...

> I only ever wanted you to be long, you only ever wanted to be big.

Yes. Why must it fucking be this way.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

I only ever wanted you to be long, you only ever wanted to be big.

That's a quoter, that there.

stipes said...

7 quid!!
cost me a tenner for 3 minutes work

red leeroy said...

cheap at the price. But heart-rendingly hard to do.

savannah said...

so, of course, i had to google it...xoxo

(did i tell you, i'm letting mine grow out...curls...long and BIG!)

Twenty Major said...

Are you having a number 2?

Rosie, who is not pimping her blog said...

nooooooo!

LEAVE-IN CONDITIONER.

Medbh said...

At least try the cornrows first, Gimme!

gimme a minute said...

Emordino:
C'est la crappy vie.

Sarah:
Use it wisely, and with compassion.

Stipes:
I would have counted that quite reasonable for someone with your flowing golden tresses.

Slowly I paint my mental picture of Stipes.

Red:
My barber had proper, pony-tail long hair. He looked disgusted with me.

Savannah:
Yeah, 'Just Cuts' was pretty cryptic..

Twenty:
I'm going to ignore your attempts to make another of my posts about poo and tell you that we settled on what is called a 'Short Ivy League'.

I'm off to roast and gang rape now.
Or are they the same thing?

Rosie:
I tried leave in conditioner. I tried ordinary conditioner and just left it in. I tried serum and every other hair product but bubblegum.

It wasn't meant to be.

Medbh:
I don't know if you're kidding about cornrows but here that would have made me look like a super scumbag. Or more of a super scumbag.

Ellie said...

*mourns the curls*.
However, I'm sure you look about ten now.

Conan Drumm said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tb4irSs538

Is the hateful deed done?

gimme a minute said...

Ellie:
Ten years younger the concensus seems to be. So fifteen.

Ahem.

Conan:
Screw you, hippie.

I assume that answers your question.

Conan Drumm said...

So now you can do the "They're my little sisters" routine.

eejit meeja said...

..waves farewell to Samson

Aidan said...

you look like a Dapper Dan man to me now. alas, at least you tried. you gave it a go. it didn't work out, but you won't have to wonder 'what if . . .'

Medbh said...

Okay, I kid about the cornrows. How about a flat-iron?
Did you ever try that to make your hair lay flat?

gimme a minute said...

Conan:
Ha. Thanks for that reminder of my ancientness.

Eeejit:
Mee know spellie so gud noo.

Aidan:
Yup. No regrets. In relation to my hair.

Medbh:
There are photos of me at my sisters confirmation with straightened hair.

Do you know Chesney Hawkes?

Ellie said...

I am willing to trade said photos for suitable monetary compensation.

Rosie said...

how much, Ellie?

 
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