Saturday, April 4, 2009

The only thing that's real

Saturday, April 4, 2009
There exists a picture of me, standing shivering in the early Canadian morning sun, socks pulled up to a ridiculous height in accidental homage to Paula and her squeezy tights, looking scared. Scared, scared, scared.

Shifting from foot to foot on a starting line bears some comparison to standing by the side of a stage, waiting for a cue. The sick sinking stomach feeling, the slight tremble, the mixed result attempts to control one's heart rate and bowels. But there is a single big fucking difference. Unless the play in which one is performing is 'The Real Life Beating of That Effeminate Guy Off Of Glenroe' then one can be fairly confident that one is not stepping into anything from seventeen minutes to an hour and a half of reasonably intense pain. Nerves before a show. Fear, fabulous fatalistic fear, before a race.

So a little 10k jaunt on the morrow, a brief lope about the park. Except that it won't be. I just sent a mail to the lady who conned me into partaking in this first race in five years saying that I am not after all, going to pace her around, hurling abuse like the abuse hurling pro that I am. No, I'm going to race the motherfucker, and attempt to break a pathetic 45 mins. And with two weeks training, I know how even this snail like 7'12 pace is going to feel. Really fucking sore. Super burny, in legs, arms, back and lungs. Right from the top and all the way through until about a klick to go at which point I will attempt to make it stop being sore and try to find the most sustainable agony that I have felt in half a decade. I'm looking forward to it.

And I'm really fucking scared.

15 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

grimsaburger said...

Oh, ho ho ho, ha ha ha, "snail-like" pace of 7'12. You must be fucking kidding me. Rejoice in your speed, Gimme. Do it for the waddlers among us, would you?

Twenty Major said...

Oh you'll be fine. Just imagine David Bourke's fanclub is behind you.

sassysundry said...

My sister used to run cross country. One time she looked a more than a little exhausted during a race, and my mom ran out into the pack yelling, "DO YOU NEED A DRINK OF WATER, HONEY?" Poor girl. Mortification city.

I'm sure you'll do fine, but I got nervous just reading this.

Meadow said...

Well done. In advance. See, I just know.

fatmammycat said...

9.00 pm on a Satdee, filled NOT with rum, but roast potato and duck and other speed enducing foods, a fat cat praised marmalade that she could run solo and to music.
You'll for sure knock the arse out of that 45 tomorrow. I'll try for the 56 with every flap of my eyebrow, then after you stop hurling and bleeding and I stop laughing we can sign up for the Adidas ten mile! Onwards Binkley of the Shire!

Medbh said...

Dude, the fear will help kill the pain.
You'll both rock it.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

Go for it Gimme, do it like a mofo.

Rosie said...

*encouraging words*

post the photo. go on.

Manuel said...

you are my hero.......I ran once.....bloody bus drivers, no humanity....

fatmammycat said...

Bah! I was slightly SLOWER than last year-even though I really felt I ran a much better race, but Gimmie was like a bounding hair, sorry I meant hare, and knocked his time into next week...I'll let him tell you all about it, what with this being his blog n'all.
Terrific day though! Will there be a few pints this evening? Oh yes.

Medbh said...

Well done Gimme and FMC!
Woot!
You've earned your pints.

stipes said...

I've just caught up with this and was going to lash into Gimme for leaving the cat to her own devices, but it seems to be mutual so,
Sub 45 Gimme, well done
Fmc, that go faster stuff, you should use jazz.

fatmammycat said...

Maybe so Stipes, maybe so.

Conan Drumm said...

Show-offs!

Betty said...

I'm knackered just reading this. Whew.

Congrats!

 
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