Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The sun is shining as it's always done

Wednesday, June 24, 2009
As a rule the folks I come across in my daily life are shit at their jobs. People in shops, for example. Rude. Telephone agents for just about any company you might care to name. Clueless. Everybody in my place of work, rude, clueless and ironically overweight. There are some almost exceptions. I have experienced the odd competent and even friendly bus driver. But I no longer take the bus, so they don't count. That chick at the toll bridge nearly always hands me my change in a satisfactory manner. But she too, could be a lot friendlier. At which point she'd be creepy. So in summary, everyone whose livelihood appropriation has some influence on the smooth running of my day to day existence could be doing a whole lot better. Get it together, fuckers.

And so we come to Michael. Michael has taught Data to swim. Michael has taught many a three and four year old to swim. And he does it with a patience, grace and humour even one of which I have to work hard to summon when faced with just a single traumatised post-toddler. But Michael does it every afternoon for hours and hours with up to ten of these occasionally hysterical children at a time. He charms, splashes, cajoles. He seems instinctively to know when to let them stand at the side of the pool howling and when to dispense unearned high fives. He's a fucking genius and has decisively wrested from the grasp of Paula Radcliffe the accolade of Gimme's all time hero.

Congratualtions, Michael.

6 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Sniffle said...

Row the boat ashore and take me away. Good man Michael.

Common Law said...

We'll all miss him....not that he's dead or anything.

Gav said...

I was expecting a punchline - maybe involving failure to produce Garda clearance cert resulting in job loss and humiliation for our hero.

gimme a minute said...

Yeah, why can't we just have boats? Stupid swimming.

Common Law:
He's dead to Data. Or he will be come next Tuesday.

I'm happy to have confounded expectations.

Sarah Gostrangely said...

god. fair play michael. How does he do it?

Id rather eat my toenails.


gimme a minute said...

Full of nutrients, toenails. 'Strue.

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