Friday, August 28, 2009

The shackles of language and measurable time

Friday, August 28, 2009
Are we feeling a theme? Perhaps when they go back to school I will finally chill the fuck and accept this too rapid burgeoning of body and brain and bits that my babies are bringing to the party. But I fucking doubt it.

There is a poster beside me on the table. It says 'Pop Star!' in the top right hand corner as that is the name of the magazine from which this centrefold has been drawn. At the bottom, in a bubbly rainbow font, is the word 'Robert'. Taking up the rest of the space is an image of a shirtless Rob Pattison. Not Patterson, I have been reliably informed. My daughter, who, on her secret blog, conspires to misspell all manner of simple words that are miraculously letter perfect in her homework, confidently corrected me on this point. On the reverse is a picture of a fully clothed Harry Potter. Did I mention that Rob is shirtless? And that Riker has already decided which side is going up on her wall? Why? Why would my little ten year old nipper want to look at the nipples of this postmadonna ponce? Rhetorical question, folks. I don't want to know.

8 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

fatmammycat said...

* laughs heartily, with just a gentle ping of sympathy*
It could have been worse, could have been Harry Potter does Equus.

Medbh said...

The dude always looks greasy to me.

Kel D said...

Yeah, that's a worry. In a little while she will be bringing home miniature ones of her idols now. They imprint like baby birds.

gimme a minute said...

But the nipples! My eyes!

One woman's greasy is another's...I don't know, oiled?

I can't wait. All the fun I'm going to imagine having and then not have.

Rob said...

I had a huge crush on Linda Carter.

Still do, I think.

Regarding your dilemma, I have two sons, so I have no relevant advice. But if one of them decides to put a greasy / oily man-pic on his wall, I reserve the right to revisit this post and ask for any musings you may offer.

gimme a minute said...

As it happens, I'm running a course on just that topic. You should book now, it's filling up.

Conan Drumm said...

Blu-tack, thumb tacks or sellotape - that should be the only issue of concern to you.

gimme a minute said...

Yeah. Should.

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