Thursday, August 27, 2009

We must have really paid the cost

Thursday, August 27, 2009
The internet's pretty shit, isn't it? What's it good for, really? You could do without it, right? Pay your bills in the bank with the putrid public. Read newspapers. Watch tv. Communicate with people on an old phone with a cord. A cord and a good stiff rotary dialler like I have on my iPhone. (Why doesn't the iPhone come with a cord? What am I supposed to twist my finger around as I become hideously stressed by even the most simple and brief of human contacts?) What I'm saying is that we could all get along fine without the wuh wuh wuh. We did it before and we can do it again. Which is good, because I'm initiating a shut down. Yeah, I know. No downloading your Darragh Doyle. No stealing all the free shit. But that's the way it is. I'm giving you plenty of notice. Ample time to fruitlessly fight your corner. A week? Maybe two. Fuck it, maybe even six months. Either way, when it all stops working and no one can fix it, you'll know that that was me, typing Google into Google.

I have my reasons.

9 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Twenty Major said...

You can't stop it. Brown Thomas are stocking real life Darragh Doyles now. It's over, Gimme.

Over.

gimme a minute said...

Twenty Major:
Oh, this is bigger than that guy.

Darragh just happens to be what comes to mind when I think of the internet. It's not like I'm obsessed with his wit, grace and irresistibly lickable charm.

Fat Sparrow said...

Noooooooooeeesssss!!!!!!

The Interwebs are the only thing that keep me sane.

I can't talk to my neighbors, they are white trash cunts.

Then again, in a few days I'll be Internet-less, as we're moving out of Dodgy City and moving in with my folks and they have no tubes connecting them to the Interwebs, I will have to order some, and god knows how long that will take. In the meantime, I will have to converse with my parents. I doubt I will be sane when I return to cyberspace.

Then again, I'm not sane now, so what the fuck.

Kim Ayres said...

We don't need XboXes, TV or radio either. My mum said she had to learn the piano when she was a kid so everyone could sing around it and make their own entertainment.

And what's all this about phones? What's wrong with good old letter writing, or even living near family and neighbours so you can talk to them in person?

When you think about it, everything really fell apart once they started making tools out of metal rather than flint.

Manuel said...

have we been here before? It feels like we have been here before.......see you about old chum.....

gimme a minute said...

Fat Sparrow:
Well, exactly. What the fuck.

Kim Ayres:
Wasn't there a Douglas Adams line about the first mistake having been to leave the oceans?

Manuel:
Ah, you misread me Manuel. I'm not doing by bi-weekly quitting thing here. Even when I do bring down the internet I shall continue to send you written updates on my mental health.

Medbh said...

I've been in a fucking rage all day because the broadband modem I bought today through a shop selling the Clearwire crap doesn't fucking work. I tried to return it for my 60 Euro to which the skinny prick said no, I'd have to go through Clearwire.

Grrrrr.

gimme a minute said...

Medbh:
Welcome to the land of saints, scholars and skinny pricks.

Manuel said...

rightho....was worried there though

 
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