Monday, October 5, 2009

Baby's sleeping while its mother sighs

Monday, October 5, 2009
It's the fucking 'F' places effing with me again. There's Fairview, we all know about Fairview and it's big fat fucking hard on for my Death. There's France, which has fucked over holiday after holiday. When I was fourteen, I got in a dinner table fist-fight with this kid from La Croix Blanche. Arnaud. Little fucker. I get in a lot of fights in France. It's the French in me. But now, now there's Dundrum. Didn't see that coming, huh? That's because you didn't know that Dundrum begins with "F". No, it does.

I gently clear my throat.

Basically, Data got cash for a Hello Kitty Build-a-Bear off of Janice and Finbar. Dundrum is the only place in Dublin where one might construct and expensively purchase such an ursuline ass. So to Dundrum I drove Common Law and the Bridge Crew. And went to work. And missed all the drama. You'll have to quiz Common Law on the details. But this much I have garnered: some people still have way too much money and are still too way big on the bastardosity. Seriously, when's the fucking uprising? What will it take? When one Western country goes, do we all go? America looks close. It's due a nice civil war, big place like that. Whatever. This can't go on. We musn't go down without a fight. Look. Look what we're letting them do to us.

Hello Kitty Build-a Bear emerged snow white. It's been two days. Already looking a little grubby. It's going the way of my soul.

8 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Alice said...

First - I love the word bastardosity and I will make it my goal to use it in a sentence tomorrow.

Second - I recently watched my first Hello Kitty episode with my daughter and it scared the shit out me.

Thanks for the laugh.

Fat Sparrow said...

Yep, America is well fucked. Its poor, tired, and huddling masses will soon be washing up on your shores. Well, your airport, at least. Be afraid.

Conan Drumm said...

Ursuline? There were nuns involved?

Hello Kitty is Nipponese, is it not? Dundrum is hell, I happily recall the Crazy Prices shop on the site, fills me with nostalgia.

Missus Common Law, what happened?

Twenty Major said...

Did it involve one of the slow moving 'escalators'?

Common Law said...

Basically, the woman ahead of me in the bear stuffing queue felt the need to explain to me that she was trying to cut down on special treats in her house. This would be the last treat in their house until Christmas day. These bear things cost in the region of €50 so this is a BIG treat in our gaff. She said children get spoiled and take these things for granted and by the time they get to the age of 15 you're in trouble. To further illustrate her point to me she told me about a new girl at her daughters school. All the kids got to ask the new girl a question. Her daughters question to the girl was: 'Where's your second home?'. Cause everyone's got a second home right???? She then chuckled to herself at the hilarity of her story. Of course I should have said 'can I have the one you're not using' but instead I politely smiled and wondered just how insecure you need to be to have to tell a stranger in a shop that you're loaded.

Conan Drumm said...

Loaded, guilty, and reading the IT on the weekend. I shouldn't have asked, CL. Now I'm getting the twitches, the bad twitches. She hasn't a clue her daughter's already banjaxed, has she?

I think I might have smiled indulgently at her and said, "It's just as well they're bringing in that new tax, it'll encourage us all to use our second homes more often."

gimme a minute said...

Thank you and welcome. Did you know there's a Hello Kitty airline? I bet they beat the shit out of Ryanair.

Fat Sparrow:
Are you calling yourself huddled?

You're being very obtuse abut my literary allusions this weather.

Twenty Major:
I think the lady in question had one in her gaff.

Common Law:
You should get yourself one of them blog there things.

Fat Sparrow said...

@ Common Law -- Oh ye gods, that sounds like the people here in my parent's neighborhood. And was Gimme's comment at you satirical? 'Cause if you have a blog and I've been missing out on it, I wanna know! Someone clue me in!

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