Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A time to refrain from embracing

Wednesday, October 7, 2009
First full-fingered glove day. Stupid fucking seasons. Why can't they be more consistent? Why all the thoughtless twists of temperature, daily light allowance, mood? Why can't I live in San Andreas with Carl and his homies? Or at a fucking pole of one kind or another? Not a fucking pole, but a pole far from Poland, a top or bottom of the world ma pole. Here in Eire, or get fucked so you don't have to think about getting raped land, I am fed up with the seasonality of seasons. Suddenly my 10k commute now involves suiting up in full chilliness body armour. Cycle shorts, long johns, arse ripped out jeans, snuggly socks, bike shoes, over shoes, base layer, jacket. In addition to the usual helmet, shades and ever tattier backpack.

I bitch, but really I like. Any cunt can wear shorts and a t-shirt. Any prick can ride in a temperate September. The extra five minutes I now spend at the opening and closing of each two wheeled trip speaks of my genuine dedication to this cycling fetish. And I look better, skinnier in this get up. I had me a super sexy shadow this morning as I powered up Castle Ave. Svelte, he was, and thus was I. You may say that this was due more to the lowness of the sun in the sky, but then I may, nay, will say "Fuck you, science boy. Autumn makes me thinner. and just to prove it, I'm going to have a Snickers."

Stuff that up your nature hole, seasons.

8 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Manuel said...

I went scarf shopping today as my neck was cold....at my age (36) one cant take a chance...but it appears the mens outfitters of belfast do not realise that the season has changed from cold to getting really cold so alas my scarf buying was denied.....

Conan Drumm said...

Maybe fatten up for the Winter, just a smidge, to round out the svelte so you've got it to lose in the Spring?

Medbh said...

I'm going for wellies in a fuck-the-fashion rules so I don't have to endure cold wet feet when out with the pooches.
I'm good with it.

Twenty Major said...

The shower gel is cold inside the bottle now.

Fuck off winter.

gimme a minute said...

Manuel:
I never got the scarf thing. They make me feel all sweaty and restricted. It's probably because Darwwin didn't see fit to supply me with a neck.

Conan:
Are you calling me fat?

Medbh:
Don't you wear your yellow shoes to the beach?

Twenty Major:
Microwave it. Fight winter to the death.

Manuel said...

the bastard....I only wear one to fit in with the kids.....I'm very Dawson's Creek/O.C. like that

Conan Drumm said...

The contrary, you're too thin already.

Aidan said...

'tis the season to be skinny

 
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