Monday, October 12, 2009

We carved our intials deep in the bark

Monday, October 12, 2009
My anger subsides as I start on my third bowl of something. Bowl One: Carbonara. Builders breakfast pasta. Made with slimy ricotta instead of parmesan. It's a recession, doncha know. Bowl Two: pea soup. We need to defrost the freezer and I have a penchant for the purchase of frozen peas. Buckets of the bastards to get through. Again with the ricotta substituting. Bowl Three: muesli. No ricotta. And finally the rage subsides.

It's the hunger. Hunger makes me crazy. Two commutes today for a yoga and a cover spin. 60k fixed, very little food. I'm passing through the Oktoberfest at the IFSC, as I have done for the last three days. Cunts, I think. Horrible, horrible cunts. Most of them are invisible, hidden beneath the bouncered, bouncing tent. There is a band. It plays 'Living next door to Alice'. The crowd shrieks the unofficial refrain: "Alice! Alice! Who the fuck is Alice?" Cunts. Cunts, cunts, cunts. I hate them. I hate them because they're at a beer festival, because they're drunk and unconcerned about tomorrow and three more spin, because they have more money, more time, more energy than I. But mostly I hate them because they're having a good time. The cunts. Would it be so much effort for the rest of the world to at least pretend to be having as miserable a life as I? Is that so much to ask? I pound the final 5k, each pedal stroke a kick to the temple of every happy person on the planet.

I eat. I retract. I repent. Food has dissipated my rage. But the eating, the eating has been hard. It's about a week now since I became aware of this bitter metallic taste in my mouth. Every time I ingest, it's like I'm licking a rusty saw. I think I'm going to have to stop eating. And then you're all fucked.

9 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Kim Ayres said...

Bleeding gums?

Kel D said...


Fat Sparrow said...

"60k fixed, very little food."

I don't care if it's a recession and your salary's been fixed; 60 grand still buys a lot of food.

Down yer neck.

Conan Drumm said...

If you're burning off 60kms worth, plus the classes, you should be getting a huge Phelps-like calorie intake, daily.

Medbh said...

Why malign ricotta?
Without it there would be no cannoli.

Plus with pasta, too much parm can dry it out. Ricotta keeps it creamy.

fatmammycat said...

Would you REALLY want to be in the middle of a group of people singing 'Alice Alice, who the fuck is Alice?'? There are fates worse than death I suppose, but for the life of me I can't think of one right this second.

gimme a minute said...

Kim Ayres:

I don't think so, not when I'm brushing them anyway.

Kel D:
Then why am I so short?

Fat Sparrow:
60 grand. Insert bitter laugh.

I should also not be such a miserly, misanthropic muppet. All these shoulds.

I have something of parmesan prejudice. Ricotta's too spermy.

If there was a justification for my upset psyche that would be it.

Conan Drumm said...

Sure, but you can't be successfully miserly and misanthropic if you fall over from the lack of kcal intake.

gimme a minute said...

Yeah yeah, Mr Voice of Reason.

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