Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Oh, come take my hand

Tuesday, November 10, 2009
This is, without doubt, the most lucid of dreams. Here I crouch typing, having done with many of the morning's banalities, folded, shopped, tidied and all with an almost unbelievable whiff of reality. Sure, a sky bluer than I've seen it for many a day and the vaguely off-putting beauty of everyone that I have encountered since half-past ten point to the illusionary nature of what appears before me, but in almost every other aspect the day seems just like any other. And yet it cannot be. Momentarily I will awake, drenched in pre-performance sweat, nauseated by the instant revelation that was has gone before is naught but the workings of my sleeping, shiny happy people addled brain.

Two years and five attempts later, my having passed my driving test can only be a dream.

16 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Rosie said...

purple danger ain’t a beauty, but hey, she's alright.

we should have a party. you can be the designated Dessie.

grimsaburger said...

Congratulations on becoming the second of the dozen or so Irish dudes here and there I know/know of to be a fully qualified driver. It is no small feat.

Sniffle said...

The tester was fat and way down the line when they were giving out good looks, he was sweaty and smelly, short and snotty nosed, he grunted and pointed at things, he was vague, his eyebrows met and his teeth were rotten, his nasal hair was pubic, his breath reeked of three day bin but when he said those words I kissed him, open mouthed and juiced up, I loved that man , I still do.
Good stuff outa you Gimme.

savannah said...

congratulations, sugar! but i swear, why the hell is the test so damn hard? seriously, is driving in ireland all that much more complicated than driving in the usa? xoxoxoxo

gimme a minute said...

Rosie:
I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to drink and drive now.

Grimsaburger:
Why, thank you.

Sniffle:
I was just shocked. After four failures, a pass kind of fucked with my brain.

Savannah:
Our roads are narrower and our drivers lacking in the confidence that a shotgun in the back seat provides.

fatmammycat said...

Hurrah! Well done.

Kim Ayres said...

Woohoo! Now fill the car with all your pals and take them to the pub so you can all get ratarsed in celebration before dropping them back home...

Manuel said...

yes well done you.....I am committed to never passing by never even trying.....whoop whoop

gimme a minute said...

Fatmammycat:
Thanks. It was only a matter of time. Lots and lots of time.

Kim Ayres:
I drive better with a couple of pints on me. According to a government backbencher. I love our leaders.

Manuel:
You remain my non-driving hero.

Medbh said...

Yay for you, Gimme.

Andrew said...

Nice one, Gimme.
But what the fuck am I supposed to snap back at you with now when you slag me about mashing the back of herself's car into a pillar?

Alice said...

Congratulations! My examiner told me "well, you passed, but I wouldn't consider you a good driver" Hmmm...perhaps your point system is flawed then.

savannah said...

shotgun? surely y'all mean the .45 we all keep right next to us on the seat, sugar! xoxo cheers

gimme a minute said...

Medbh:
Yay indeed. The novelty is wearing off. There haven't been even nearly enough people stopping me in traffic to offer their congratulations and adoration.

Andrew:
I suggest something around the topic of Google Reader.

Alice:
Maybe he spends every test hoping to discover the new Erwin "Cannonball" Baker. You let him down.

gimme a minute said...

Savannah:
That's the next kind of licence I'm getting.

Fat Sparrow said...

Is it really that hard to get a driver's license over there? Good grief, I can't balance on a bike but I'm a fully qualified driver here in the States.

I had no idea so many people had trouble with it.

And congrats, you. Now you can run down bikers.

 
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