Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Even my trousers give me pain

Wednesday, December 9, 2009
How much fun was that? I had to go out and pick up a child halfway through so if there was a part where Lenihan slipped in a bit about how he wasn’t going to be a tremendous poor people raping cunt I may well have missed it. What’s that? There was no such announcement? Oh well. Fun none the less. I was honoured to star in a Twentweet, along with Darragh, no, not that Darragh, though this Darragh seems to share that Darragh’s nauseating attitude of ‘Wow, isn’t everything just peachy’. Hey, guess what? Apparently Fás are fab, and we should focus on all the cool shit they do, like training inbred bozos how to tie their shoelaces, and not the stunning inefficiencies and outright theft performed by their executives. (And to drop my dripping irony for a mo, let it be said that training is not the fucking answer. We're all trained to fuck. There are no jobs, not even shoelace tying jobs). And hey again, just in case you think Gimme is being a leetle harsh on Darragh II, check the fuck out of this sentence: "negativity seeds negativity and it's negativity that has this country where it is today. Not bad government decisions." Oh for the love of good fuck.

Personally, I’m super positive about this budget. For months we have we sat duck-taped to our chairs, as our great leaders pranced around to Steelers Wheel, occasionally bending down to whisper into our temporary ears of all the nasty things that were going to happen come December. And as the sun goes down on the dreaded day, I find myself and mine not all that bloodied and still in possession of almost all of our aural appendages. Why? Because, despite what feels like an endless struggle against debt and Common Law’s ridiculous 79c app habit (appit?), we really aren’t that poor. And nor, come to that, is any fucker with a permanent public sector job, despite being the alleged loser in this most Saint Bridget of budgets. Sure, he might be negative equitied right up the ass, but she still has a house and he can still put food on the table. Maybe it's a struggle, but it's a struggle for everyone. And what we got today is a shitty fucking Thacherite cop out involving the further exploitation of the genuinely impoverished, a complete abandonment of any vague thoughts of job creation, and a scrapage scheme that benefits, you guessed it, those with enough cash floating around to buy an oh ten car.

Young people on Job seekers "benefit" get the shit cut out of their money because up until now they were just sitting on their arses playing XBox. Why didn't 22 year olds do that during the boom? Because there were fucking jobs. People want to work. These welfare cunts, these Limerickers, these Darndalese, will always exist. You cannot legislate for lazy cunts. But making it impossible for the youth of today to make ends meet while looking for a job that doesn't exist isn't going to make the jobs appear, it's going to make the young uns leave the country. And rightly so. Shit, if it wasn't for the children, I'd be in Penticton right fucking now, ranting about the poor pouring of the Guinness and the lack of quality snow And I have a fucking job.

Time for a conclusion? Coming right up.

I'm slightly relieved, more than a little disgusted, and really fucking scared. This is no eighties, no thirties, but thanks to today's comedic anti-climax, it soon fucking will be. Turns out I wasn't all that super positive after all.

Sorry, Darragh II.

4 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

It's budget by political fix... tucked away in the documentation (maybe on the capital side) is a €4bn bung for Anglo bank. The accounting is verrrry creative but it's clear the private sector is not paying for its own failings.

Sniffle said...

The screaming flaw in the proposed solution of a smart economy is that there aren’t 400,000 smart jobs out there or anywhere for that matter. The country needs joe-soap jobs and loads of them quickly. If Joe-soap jobs are to be competitive , they need to be @ €4,€5,€6 per hour, and the dog in the street knows that we can’t exist on that money so we wait for prices of shit to fall. That’s the cunning plan. It’ll take ten years for the man to be interested again in coming back and building shit here and in the meantime we’ll pick all pick over the carcass of poor, cause that’s where we get our nourishment from these days.

The stereotyping of the welfare cunt. I think I know what you mean and what your intent is, but I was born in Walkinstown and spent formative years in Limerick. Does this make me a 100% welfare cunt or 50% ? Obviously I’d fell better as a fiftyer.

gimme a minute said...

Stupid comment moderation

Fatmammycat said...

I don't know, that line... I'm feeling pretty fucking divided today myself and I believe I will remain so.

* waves to CL, but only in a divided way.*

gimme a minute said...

Your comment on the Major site summed it up beautifully. Fuck all to do with fixing the economy, everything to do with a last gasp attempt to stay in power.

Another good summation.

And you're right, that was a stupid cheap shot, that I will leave unedited as a testament to my moronitude.

Common Law is not technically public sector though the cuts are being handed down anyway. Rolling contract, so it is. But as she's the best in the country, I have little fear of her losing her job, unless they take the rather harsh though admittedly smart decision to introduce an outright ban on theatre.

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