Saturday, May 2, 2009

Cock not Koch

Saturday, May 2, 2009 13
I am a disgusting person. I am constantly and brazenly unfaithful to my wife. She knows to expect a beating if she complains. I ignore my stupid, fat, whining kids. I'd drown them in the tub if I thought I could get away with it. I have stolen from charities and once kicked an ageing dog to death. Fuck it, I'm a practising paedophile. Why not? I practise all the time.

But it's all okay because I can write about it on an anonymous blog and thus, inexplicably, feel good about myself.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Hearts fail, young hearts fail

Friday, May 1, 2009 8
This is what I get for getting it together and sorting shit out. Observe as I struggle to express my sickening disgust at the triumvirate of motoring bastardosity that has fallen across my path.

Three days before the NCT: In for a service. Back brakes need to be entirely replaced. They can't do it in time. Hundreds of euro anyway.

Two days before the NCT: In to generic overcharging garage. Get brakes fixed. Hundreds of euro.

One day before the NCT: On the way to endure through 'Hannah Montana: The Movie' some cunt randomly fucks a stone onto a dual carriageway, hitting my front windscreen and causing a crack only just noticeable enough to be almost certainly spottable by the testers.

No, I don't have windscreen cover. I can't afford it. And I certainly can't afford this. I just can't afford it. Yes, yes, I know that I am a cunt and deserve all the misfortune that is heaped upon me by life and in fucking fairness it's not like I've lost my job or been burgled or bum raped, but if karma could see to widening, by just a teeny smidge, the time scale of this justifiable retribution, then that would be just fucking super.
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