Monday, April 12, 2010

What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent?

Monday, April 12, 2010
And still Gettingmyholegate rumbles on. Such would have been your obsessive refreshing and rerefreshing of all the interblogs in question that it seems unlikely that you will have taken on board the big news story of the weekend. Here's a hint, it had an aeroplane in it.

What the fuck is it with aeroplanes? Is it because they're just wrong? Because they are. They're all kinds of fucked up, planes. Look how heavy they are. Much heavier, for example than the plate I just frisbeed across the kitchen. And did that plate make it all the way to New York? Or Smolensk? Or even Inis Mór? It did fucking not. It fell on the ground and broke into a bizillion pieces. And now I have to text Common Law. That's the new rule, you see. I am required to text the lady of the house immediately following the breakage of any item by either the children or myself, including but not limited to, the children or myself. No longer am I allowed to clean up whatever it might be, hide the evidence and hope that my fake wife doesn't notice. Nope, not no more. Common Law is now subscribed to the Smashed Shit Text Alert Service and you can be too. Mail me your number and I'll make it so. Texts cost €1, €5 for optional photo of destruction.

Aaaaaanyway. Airplanes. Heavy, right? And there they are flying around the sky and only occasionally crashing. Wrong, right? And yet there seems to be something about dying in a plane crash that makes it okay to have been a right wing Pope loving gay bashing prick. If Lechy had snuffed it of a heart-attack would Poland be in mourning shock? Would Poland be united in grief if it had just been him and not his wife and a whole load of other big wigs? What's it all about, Alojzy? If Mary Harney and Brian Cowen were to die in a plane crash tomorrow how would that be? Would we shed tears? I know that cunt down the off licence would, but the rest of us right thinking folk, how would we respond? Would we unite in mourning? I would like to think fucking not. Pity for their families, for sure. But joy unconfined on every other level from this honest Greta. We're all going to die and really fucking soon too, so the sooner the hate-filled catholic cunts and the greedy grasping fuck the poor pricks kick the bucket the better, if not for all concerned, then at the very least for me. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to smash some more plates. Riker needs a new pair of shoes.

10 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

Conan Drumm said...

Wait til the golf crowd get stuck in with their eagles and birdies and holes-in-one.

Gimme Garbo has an excellent ring to it.

Conan Drumm said...

Oh, and add Powerscourt to the aircraft frailty list.

gimme a minute said...

It's an an albatross around my neck Conan, it really is.

Medbh said...

Fancy new digs.
Have you thought of putting Riker's Stations of the Bike in the header?

gimme a minute said...

I thought about it and it made my head hurt. You wouldn't believe the stress I find myself under just importing a theme.

She's going to do me a new avatar instead.

Annie said...

am loving the new look. did rosie make this?

Manuel said...

oh yes much nicer this....what was it somebody said on twitter earlier..."It's germany's time to you know...invade"


gimme a minute said...

She found it half-chewed in a dumpster somewhere and was kind enough to throw it my way.

Exit still smarting?

I'm talking about football not his arse, eavesdroppers.

Rosie said...

i'll take that as a "thank you", shall i?

gimme a minute said...

You may as well.

◄Design by Pocket