Friday, January 7, 2011

I'm a say what I wanna say, I call myself what I wanna call myself

Friday, January 7, 2011
There's this guy in the gym. He's got one of those names that are initials, this guy, and Gimme is suspicious of people thus nomanclated. He also looks alarmingly like a certain cartoonish tv character. You know the one. Again, suspicious. Oh and it turns out he's a racist. I think. Is it racist to hate the English? Because if it is then there are a lot of racists about. There are a lot of enablers too, enabling all over the shop. Turns out I count myself among them.

But is it racism, really? Cause you know, the famine and shit. And we shouldn't vote Sinn Féin because of all those innocents that they murdered and shit. It works both ways, this historical atrocity bender.

I know lots of English people. And I can stand to be around most of them about as much as I can stand to be around anyone else. A couple of them I even kind of like. So when, as we discussed the horrorshow that is the upkeep and management of my place of work, this guy in the gym leant in and sweatily said 'What do you expect? Run by a nigger.' I found myself saying nothing but 'Yeah well, that nigger anyway.' Except he didn't say 'nigger' of course because you can't say 'nigger' and I didn't say 'nigger' because it wouldn't have made sense because he didn't say 'nigger' and anyway the running in question is being done by a man who might reasonably described as many things but 'nigger' is not the first that springs to mind. He said 'Englishman'. And I said 'Englishman'. Not as bad, right? Barely in the same ballpark. As disparate, one might say, as male and female circumcision. And yet.

Wow, check me out, I just did my very own blog version of Joel Schumacher's 'A Time to Kill' starring Mathew McConaughey and Samuel L. Jackson. I'm fucking welling up.


9 Johns and Janes for the comment whore:

John Braine said...

I never got the end of that courtroom scene. Found myself thinking "i'm picturing a white girl and feel no different about it, you prick!"

But yeah the anti-english thing... I've even stopped being surprised and dissapointed by people who I expected better from.

I've been told I don't get the banter of the whole thing because I don't follow sport. It's ok to hate the English if you support Irish football, or something. I don't know.

Rosie said...

you should get yourself a bumper sticker for Purple.

Anonymous said...

Imma sure there is some sort of study you could link to that would make no real difference to the original post or indeed any of the comments. That seems to be the done thing these days.

But personally, English, Irish, same race innit?


Gimme said...

All those Liverpool supporters have just cause, John.

I will take that under advisement, Rosie.

Yup, Fmc, I find it best to hate all nationalities equally.

Andrew said...

"Picture this, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: Tony Blair gets tied to the back of a truck and dragged for about a mile by some hillbillies. They then rape him and piss on him and box his head in and all manner of other ungentlemanly activities.

Can you see him? His raped, beaten, broken body, soaked in their urine, soaked in their semen, soaked in her blood -- left to die.

Can you see him? I want you to picture that little Tony Blair.

Now imagine he's Bertie Ahern.

The defence rests, your honour."

Anonymous said...

Heh Andrew! See, it DOES change things.

Gimme said...

Hang on, soaked in whose blood?

Conan Drumm said...

Why that's just 'spicable.

sniffle said...

Hey nigger , here boy.

Got ten times of angry recently at Michael Owen on soccer a.m. ( last Saturday week) doing his team mates thing at Manchester fucking united. ( whom I love dearly)

Got to the least intelligent team mate,

“ Gibbo, yeah, gotta be Gibbo, he’s Irish”

And there you have it nigger.

Mary Hannigan had it right yesterday, when she mentioned that he was lucky Keano wasn’t training the following Monday...

PS That’s class Andrew.

Aboydakid gimme.

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