Thursday, October 6, 2011

This is beginning to feel like the long winded blues of the never

Thursday, October 6, 2011
Once upon a time there was a woman and her boyfriend, and they went to Galway for the weekend and when they were in Galway they went to Eddie Rockets which is a diner and the woman ordered a burger and cheese fries and the man ordered a BLT which is a sandwich with bacon and lettuce and tomato. They waited for a long, long time and when eventually the food came it was the wrong food. The woman was very upset and her boyfriend, though he didn't really care himself, as he was very hungry and just wanted to eat, complained about the food being late and wrong. The waiter, who wasn't just any old waiter but was also the manager, was not happy about this complaint, and this not just waiter but also manager sighed and took the chips that lacked cheese away and grated some cheese on them and bought them back and flung them on the table. And the boyfriend, who was really very hungry by now, got pretty  annoyed as chips with cold cheddar grated on them do not trademark Eddie Rockets Cheezy Fries make, and where were they,  Basra or somewhere? And then the boyfriend did a terrible thing. 

He swore.  

He said "All you've done is grated some fucking cheese on them". And a smile broke over the manager not waiter's face. And he entered full indignant mode and from high on his moral ground he rained his "Calm down this is a family restaurant" wrath upon the boyfriend. The woman and her boyfriend ended up leaving the restaurant without eating. The woman was embarrassed but the boyfriend had learned a valuable lesson, and this was the lesson: Never, ever swear, because even if you're trying to be reasonable, even if you're being provoked, even if someone says as hurtful a thing as they can think to say, once you utter the word 'fuck' then you are forever the bad guy. It was a lesson that served the boyfriend well, for many, many years.

Until the day that he forgot.
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